Dumb Idiot Donald Trump Thinks Sally Yates Testimony Somehow Made Him Look GOOD

actual president of America

Did everybody watch Monday's fun Sally Yates hearing (also featuring former director of national intelligence James Clapper), where she kicked ass and took names, even though dumb Republicans tried REALLY HARD to change the subject to "unmasking" and "wire tapps," because they are unpatriotic Trump-licking trolls? It was great! (If you didn't see it, may we suggest Wonkette's liveblog? ) Taken in its totality, we can safely report that Donald Trump and his BFF literal foreign agent /disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn did not fare well in the hearing.

So Monday night, Trump pulled out his Twitter box (like he did before the hearing ) and tried his damnedest to do "fake news" to what everybody saw on TV with their own eyes, to try to convince us all that Donald Trump rules and Sally Yates drools.

Oh goodness, Trump must have been watching a different hearing from the one we saw. Maybe Kellyanne flipped the TV onto "Judge Judy" when Trump wasn't looking and he's too dumb to know the difference. But Trump was so sure Clapper said there is "no evidence" of mutual masturbation between Trump and Russian intelligence that he excitedly changed his Twitter banner to look like this, albeit briefly:

Oh baby doll, you have embarrassed yourself, YET AGAIN.

Let's go to the transcript and see what ACTUALLY   happened, via the  Washington Post  :

SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM: Ms. Yates, do you have any evidence — are you aware of any evidence that would suggest that in the 2016 campaign anybody in the Trump campaign colluded — colluded with the Russian government intelligence services in improper fashion?

YATES: And Senator, my answer to that question would require me to reveal classified information. And so, I — I can't answer that.

GRAHAM: Well, I don't get that because [James Clapper] just said he issued the report. And he said he doesn't know of any. So, what would you know that's not in the report?

(CROSSTALK)

CLAPPER: Are you asking me, or …

GRAHAM: No, her.

CLAPPER: Oh.

YATES: Well, I think that Director Clapper also said that he was unaware of the FBI counter intelligence investigations.

GRAHAM: Would it be fair to say that the counter-intelligence investigation was not mature enough to come to his — to get in the report. Is that fair, Mr. — Mr. Clapper?

CLAPPER: I — that's an — that's a possibility.

GRAHAM: What I don't get is how the FBI can have a counter-intelligence investigation suggesting collusion, and you, as director of National Intelligence not know about it, and the FBI sign on to a report that basically said there was no collusion.

CLAPPER: I can only speculate why that's so. There wasn't — the evidence, if there was any, didn't reach the evidentiary bar in terms of the level of confidence that we were striving for in that intelligence community assessment.

OK, now we understand that Donald Trump isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, so maybe he really doesn't understand what happened right there. What that exchange actually revealed is that Sally Yates knew about the FBI investigation -- since she was the acting attorney general, a position which is boss over the FBI -- and Clapper didn't. So, based on what Clapper knew at the time, he hadn't seen evidence of collusion. Based on what Sally Yates knows right now, she can report that CLASSIFIED! CLASSIFIED! CLASSIFIED!

Trump wasn't done though:

Actually she revealed a lot! She told us just how hard she encouraged the Trump administration to shoot Michael Flynn into space because he was a LITERAL ACTUAL FOREIGN AGENT, for one thing.

There was also a really cool part when Senator Ted Cruz (R-Everybody Hates Him) tried to score points and make it look like Yates was being a Bad Actor by refusing to enforce Trump's Muslim ban (which was not the point of the hearing at all), and Yates just casually dropped some truth about the Constitution, and about how it's unprecedented for the president's Office of Legal Counsel to be "advised not to tell the attorney general about [something like the Muslim ban] until after it was over." ZING!

In fact, just watch the entire exchange with Cruz, because he was doing that know-it-all thing he does where he thinks he's SO SMART, but then Yates completely out-lawyered him and reduced him to a puddle of foreign Canadian maple syrup:

In case Trump doesn't understand yet, all the points here are being scored by Sally Yates, and none of them are being scored by the GOP or Trump.

Try again, Trump:

As soon as all the guilty parties are living in jail.

NEXT:

Nope. That fake non-story ended weeks ago and literally nobody in the media is talking about it.

Nice try, loser! Maybe Trump should resign, because America's tired of being appalled and mortified by the incompetent, sad failure in the White House.

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[ Washington Post ]