scotus
Barack Obama’s weak-sauce health care legislation does a couple of good things but completely evaded the whole issue he campaigned on, which is health care for all Americans. But even a couple of regulations — such as health care executives no longer being allowed to perform Satanic rituals on the fresh corpses of children denied [...]
Texas pays a cushy full-time salary to a sociopathic weirdo who wears a shellacked feather boa toupee around on his head all the time to make sure Texas executes as many of its citizens as possible, and normally this guy, Rick Perry, he is the best state murder party planner in the country. NOT TODAY! [...]
The police do not need a warrant to enter a home if they smell burning marijuana, knock loudly, announce themselves and hear what they think is the sound of evidence being destroyed, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday in an 8-to-1 decision. “Police! We were walking by and heard evidence being destroyed! Open the door [...]
Evil muppet billionaires David and Charles Koch own the Koch Industries megacorporation, and most of the employees of that conglomerate got written instructions from the Koch Bros. listing the candidates and measures to vote for. That’s illegal! Put the Koch Brothers in prison for CRIMES against AMERICAN DEMOCRACY, quick, before they hobble away slowly! Here [...]
Fringe-right corporate lackey Clarence Thomas has famously kept his mouth shut during most of his 20 years on the Supreme Court, because how could anyone improve upon Antonin Scalia’s insane bullshit? But on Tuesday, Clarence Thomas cheerfully took the opportunity to read the conservative majority’s decision against an innocent black man in New Orleans who [...]
How Antonin Scalia has managed to drive himself around in traffic this long without giving into his urge to deliver a vehicular capital-punishment verdict to fellow motorists is beyond us, but apparently he did cause a four-car accident on the George Washington Parkway yesterday, and to his probable dismay, there were no casualties. According to [...]
When questions were first raised about the retreat last month, a court spokeswoman said Justice Thomas had made a “brief drop-by” at the event in Palm Springs, Calif., in January 2008 and had given a talk. In his financial disclosure report for that year, however, Justice Thomas reported that the Federalist Society, a prominent conservative [...]
Ginni Thomas may have been forced to resign her duties as Washington Teabag Queen because she was drunk-dialing Anita Hill all the time, but that doesn’t mean she can’t make a living! (Clarence Thomas doesn’t report her living on his tax forms, by the way, even though the law says he has to. But let’s [...]
Other ways in which Scalia is exactly like that irritating uncle of yours: Chief Justice Roberts has a light, witty touch, while the laughter that follows a long hypothetical question from Justice Breyer can feel like an expression of relief. Justice Scalia, by contrast, will repeat jokes mercilessly, raising questions about whether he has artificially [...]
Antonin Scalia was spotted giving Elena Kagan “a lesson” about shootin’ crap at a shooting “club” last week, according to The Daily Caller, which has set up a tin-can telephone at the bottom of Tucker Carlson’s treehouse to receive such tips. Clarence Thomas is gonna be so pissed when he finds out his blood brother [...]
Lillian McEwen used to date Clarence Thomas (EWW!), but according to the Washington Post, she didn’t get the chance to testify at his confirmation hearings even though he never raped her. She is now “breaking her silence,” however, because she is “shopping to publishers” a memoir heard about that weird thing his wife did to [...]
At her debate, Christine O’Donnell couldn’t come up with the name of a recent Supreme Court decision with which she disagreed, so why not ask this question of the dumb Republican candidate in your race, everyone? That’s what Congressman John Adler did against his opponent, former Philadelphia Eagles tackle Jon Runyan. Hey, at least this [...]
There she is, Miss Supreme Court. There she is, your ideal. At long last, Elena Kagan has gone from the cocoon of Senate confirmation hearings and emerged a beautiful judicial butterfly. In what is now a great American tradition, Kagan made sure not to answer a single question during the entire marathon, and now the [...]
