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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Trump has been hiding all official and classified notes from his meetings with Putin, and going out of his way to make sure NOBODY knows what they've talked about, according to a new report in the Washington Post. On Saturday, Trump whined to Jeanine Pirro that "anybody could have listened" to his meetings and phone calls with Putin (if he let them), and he "couldn't care less" if the meeting notes became public, but no, he will not release them.The New York Times reports congressional Democrats want to know why Trump is so paranoid about anyone finding out what he and Putin have been talking about if there was, in fact, "NO COLLUSION" in the 2016 election.

The FBI was so freaked out when Trump "You're Fired" former FBI director James Comey that they opened an counter-intelligence investigation into whether Trump was working as Russian agent. NYT reports this investigation was the precursor to Robert Mueller's Trump-Russia criminal investigation, and the two have since been rolled into one another as it sure as hell looks like Trump has been obstructing investigations into his shady dealings with Russia.

Trump and Republicans are doubling down on their gaslighting of the American people by blaming Democrats for Trump's shutdown, with White House economic advisor Kevin Hasset even going so far as to call the shutdown a "vacation" for furloughed workers (fact check: people don't have to sell furniture on Cragslist during "vacations"). Despite the spin, a new WaPo/ABC News poll shows an increasing majority of Americans blame Trump and Republicans for screwing them out of their paychecks. This morning the WSJ reports the effects of Trump's shutdown on the overall economy may seem small, but economists are already subtracting a full percentage point from projected first-quarter growth estimates (that's REALLY bad).

TSA workers have effectively gone on strike at airports around the country. A "sick-out" at George W. Bush International Airport in Houston was so bad that an entire terminal was forced to close. A TSA spox was unable to comment due to the government shutdown, but a friendly automated response did say it would reply once the government reopens. Thank you for your patience.

ProPublica has an interesting op-ed on the witches' brew of debt crises being cooked up by various financial institutions. Nobody knows when or if the next crisis will hit, but we seem to be following a recipe for disaster, and Trump is the maître d′. The only item on the menu is "shit sandwich."

Axios gossips that during that Jan. 4 meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, Mick Mulvaney tried to offer a $2.5 billion compromise to end the government shutdown, but Trump cut him off and lashed out, screaming, "You fucked it all up, Mick!" LOL, if true!

After Iranian-backed militants fired mortars into an empty parking lot in Iraq's Green Zone last year, national security mustache John Bolton tried to start a war with Iran. Once they changed their soiled underpants, Pentagon officials dutifully began drawing up plans for air strikes, but the plan was ultimately thwarted by then-Defense Secretary Jim Mattis who wasn't about to become part of Trump's rickety war jalopy. Mattis isn't around to scotch any further crazy plans like that, but we're sure it'll be fine.

In yet another series of schizo shitposts on Twitter over the weekend, Trump threatened Turkey if it attacks US-backed Kurdish fighters in Syria. Trump then threatened the Kurdish fighters if they fight back against Turkey's planned genocide, and claimed he was finally putting an end to "endless war" in the Middle East, even if US allies and the DOD think that's a horrible idea.

A federal judge in California has blocked a Trump rule that would have let employers deny paying for birth control for religious or moral reasons. Religious groups are furious and ironically screaming about the government telling women what they can and can't do with their own bodies.

The UK Parliament is set to take a crucial vote on Brexit tomorrow, and Theresa May is doing her damndest to convince people that her godawful deal is better than "no deal" this morning. In a message to MPs, May says, "You can take 'no deal' off the table by voting for the deal." A "no deal" scenario could send the UK violently crashing out of the EU, which many hardcore Brexiters think is a good idea, even as calls for a second referendum grow louder with the British Labour party threatening to call for another vote of no-confidence in May.

And here's your morning Nice Time! PENGUINS!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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Photo by Wonkette operative 'Zippy W. Spincycle'

Last week, Yr Dok Zoom talked a little bit about his damn dissertation, which looked at "Wabbit Literacy," the weird thing where we sometimes learn about the world from parodies and jokes long before we ever encounter the original stuff -- like learning about opera from cartoons. More than one person in the comments (which Wonkette does not allow and yet, like life, you find a way) mentioned they were disappointed, as kids, to learn that while roadrunners are real birds, the actual critter looks nothing like this:

Which is not to say that real roadrunners are the least bit disappointing, as animals go, because they're freaking incredible. Yes, even if they don't actually leave lines of flame down the center line of desert highways and go "Meep! Meep!" But they can sprint up to 20 miles per hour, which is faster than you, albeit slower than a real coyote's top speed. Also, yes, real coyotes are among the predators what eat roadrunners, which is why the wily birds adopted the evolutionary strategy of running right through fake tunnels coyotes paint on the sides of mountains.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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