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Talk Nerdy To Me! Wonkagenda For Mon., May 20, 2019

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Tea Party Republican Rep. Justin Amash said mean words about Trump on Saturday and now all the Republicans are in a tizzy. Citing the Mueller Report, the Never Trumper called to #IMPEACH Trump for wiping his ass with the Constitution, adding that Congress has a job to do, and AG Bill Barr is a damn liar. RNC chair Ronna McDaniel responded that Amash was a secret Muslim loving Democrat. In an appearance on CNN, her uncle Mitt Romney, the junior Republican senator from Utah, called Amash "courageous," but he did note there wasn't enough evidence or support to #IMPEACH. After Trump shitposted his butthurt, George Conway poured some gasoline on the dumpster fire by tweeting at Trump, "You never stop lying, do you?"

Back in 2016 and 2017, inspectors at Deutsche Bank wanted to flag strange transactions involving Trump and Jared Kushner, but the bank's managers didn't do doodly squat. At the time, funny money inspectors noticed a lot of strange business between Russians, Trump's grifty "charity," and Kushner Companies, so they began writing up suspicious activity reports, as per federal regulations. Those reports were ultimately killed by the bank brass for reasons. Maybe those reasons were because the new president owed the bank hundreds of millions of dollars, and maybe not.

Disgraced casino creep Steve Wynn has dumped $400,000 on the Republican party, and they're happy to take his money because he was never technically charged with sexually assaulting any of the women who've accused him. FUN FACT: Wynn Resorts was fined $20 million by the Nevada Gaming Commission for ignoring employee complaints about Wynn's grab ass games, and the Massachusetts Gaming Commision has a report detailing the company's efforts to hide complaints, including at least one allegation of Wyn raping an employee in a massage room.

Sailors on a US Navy sub created a "rape list" ranking female crew members according to a 74-page investigation FOIA'd by Military.com. The list contained "lewd and sexist comments" beside the names of women, according to the report. After the list leaked to military brass, women aboard the ship feared for their safety, and worried the brass would try to "sweep it under the rug." The captain of the ship was ultimately fired for a loss of confidence in his ability to lead. NOTE: This story is all types of fucked up.

The administration has IDed an additional 1,712 migrant children stolen from their parents even before the "zero tolerance" policy began. HHS says the number could be as high as 50,000.

The administration's embrace of dying energy industries is creating a problem in conservative circles thanks to activism from states and corporations. As left leaning states race to enact regulations protecting people and the environment, big corporations are leaning on members of congress to support a modified carbon tax that redistributes the cash to people.

South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg spent the weekend crushing conservative talking heads during several big media appearances. First, Buttigieg told NPR Trump's comments about gaymosexuals are VERY different from how he governs. Buttigieg then went on Fox News for a town hall and brushed off bullshit question on third-trimester abortions, framed Trump's tweets as "grotesque" schadenfreude, and called Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham vile garbage barges who ship trash into homes every night. Buttigieg ultimately earned himself a standing ovation to the shock of Chris Wallace. As always, Trump tweeted some stupid crap about Fox News being full of LIB-RUHLS who "forgot the people who got them there." All this prompted Joe Scarborough to make an incoherent analogy to a Springsteen concert in the 1970s, concluding, "the future of the Democratic party."

Former VEEP Joe Biden formally launched his 2020 campaign in Philly over the weekend with a rousing speech about defeating President Pussgrab. Biden's speech was a call for unity that cast trump as an angry, lying old fart -- a strategy WaPo says is an attempt to dust off all that hopey-changey stuff that helped propel Democrats in 2008.

At a rally in Los Angeles, California's Democratic Sen. Kamala Harris announced she would be dropping a policy proposal on ending the gender pay gap. BONUS: Harris's plan would also dedicate money towards Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand and Rosa DeLauro's proposal to create a national insurance fund to give workers 12 weeks of paid family or medical leave.

Trump's 2020 team is worried about losing the Rust Belt. After polls showed Biden stomping all over Trump in Pennsylvania, on Friday Wisconsin Republicans published an autopsy of their 2018 defeat. Then on Saturday Justin Amash called to #IMPEACH, sending the Michigan GOP scrambling. Taken together, Trump World thinks it's starting to lose its grip on their 2016 lynchpin. Axios gossips that Trump will "officially" launch his 2020 campaign sometime next month (right around the anniversary of his first announcement) in order to steal some thunder from the first Democratic debates, and capitalize on Father's Day. Sure, seems like a plan.

Mitch McConnell has decided to run for reelection as a cartoon villain, masterminding all the evil shit that Trump claims as a win. In a purposely enraging quote, McConnell tells Politico, "I appreciate they've picked up on what I call myself, which is the Grim Reaper when it comes to things like the 'Green New Deal' and 'Medicare for None.'"

The GOP is desperately seeking ANYONE to stop Kris Kobach from running for the Senate in Kentucky. Behind the scenes, many in the GOP think Kobach is just as toxic as ALLEGED pedophile Roy Moore.

In yet another symbol of America's changing economic landscape, Bethlehem Steel's 21-story Martin Tower was demolished in 16 seconds over the weekend. The site will be redeveloped into something that (hopefully) won't go bankrupt, like a strip mall. [Destruction Porn]

Not American geeks are growing concerned that Trump's trade war with China is creating the wrong kind of problems. As the Chinese beef up their military presence throughout the Pacific region and South China Sea, they're simultaneously creating concentration camps for minority Muslim populations, and Trump's trade war is actually creating a new Cold War.

Google has dropped Chinese smartphone maker Huawei from its Android platform following Trump's declaration of a national emergency on the nation's communications networks. Silicon Valley has been increasingly distancing itself from Huawei over the last several months over concerns China can pressure the company to spy on users. The WSJ notes the move is likely to screw up both the tech world and Wall Street as Huawei recently became the second largest supplier of smartphones.

In front of a portrait of Trump in a that hideous white tennis outfit, Trump staffers got shitfaced on top shelf booze at Mar-a-Lago, and the White House made taxpayers foot the $1,000 bill. Thanks, assholes. (We're not sure why this is a new story from ProPublica, since we're sure we read it last month, but what they say goes.)

SNL's cold open sang about Trump hiding all the things.

Don't Stop Me Now Cold Open - SNL www.youtube.com

John Oliver 'splainered death investigations and why you should show some respect for Glenn Close's spleen!

Death Investigations: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) www.youtube.com

And here's your morning Nice Time: BABY GOATS!

Training for Running of the Goats www.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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