WOMP WOMP. Wonkagenda For Wed., June 20, 2018

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Before we get started, here's some animals keeping super cool in this nasty summer heat!

There, now you are prepared.

According to a report from the AP, young children and infants are being held in "tender age" shelters in South Texas under the care of DHS. There are currently at least three shelters housing hundreds, and plans to open a fourth shelter in Houston, despite a lack of caregivers and resources.

One of the House immigration bills being considered would block tens of thousands of immigrants from entering the country by lowering the number of reserved visas for family members to 78,400, eliminating the so-called visa lottery, and switching to a "merit-based" system that would apply to Dreamers and the children of legal immigrants by establishing a "point system" that considers education levels, military service, proficiency in English, and full-time work experience. The bill is unlikely to pass despite a half-assed attempt by Trump to whip Republican votes on the Hill last night, as hardcore conservatives think the bill offers "amnesty" to Dreamers. The rest are feckless cowards afraid of taking a stand.

A new report from McClatchy states that federal officials may have lost almost 6,000 unaccompanied migrant children, about six times more than government officials previously told legislators.

Multiple governors are fighting back against the Trump administration's immigration policy by canceling orders for National Guard troops on the border. No biggie, those troops are just wasting time shoveling horse shit anyway.

As that AP story broke last night, Rachel Maddow was left in tears, unable to report the details at the end of her show. She later took to Twitter and apologized (for having a soul), and finished reporting the story. [Video]

A Fox News panel erupted into chaos (per usual) after slap-happy former campaign manager and Trump whisperer Corey Lewandowski said "womp womp" upon hearing another panelist describe a 10-year-old girl with Down Syndrome being separated from her mother.

Current ICE director Thomas Homan refused to opine on whether or not Trump's kidnapping of children was a good idea, instead telling CNN's Wolf Blitzer that it was simply "the law." (IT IS NOT.) [Video]

The former head of ICE was on air with NBC's Andrea Mitchell and worried that the policy could create thousands of orphans, "If they don't reunite these kids with their parents right away, what can happen is the kids will be stuck here in the United States for years."

DHS head Kirstjen Nielsen couldn't even enjoy Taco Tuesday after DSA protesters chased her out of a posh Mexican restaurant in DC.Womp womp.

New budgeting documents show Trump's DHS asking for $95 million to build tent cities in Texas to "detain all immigration violators" as early as March 2017, and did so again this year under the assumption that immigration would surge.

George Takei wrote an op-ed in Foreign Policy talking about living in a Japanese internment camp at the age of five, and notes "even they didn't separate children from families."

Trump took a victory lap at his DC hotel with his fundraising group and supporters last night, bragging about the cost of the Jerusalem embassy and selling out to North Korea, and fluffing Sean Spicer, Harold Hamm, Evander Holyfield, and some busty Fox News talking heads.

At a speech for the National Federation of Independent Business, Trump bullshitted about his administration's kidnapping of migrant children by claiming there was no alternative, complained that we needed "a real border, not judges" to combat immigration problems, and threatened to make "changes" to the House immigration bills.

During his speech at the NFIB, he also bragged about his new Trumpcare plan that would skirt existing healthcare laws by allowing small businesses to create insurance groups that can purchase alternative insurance plans that could (and would) deny people with pre-existing conditions.

House Republicans are taking another whack at killing public healthcare as well as deep cuts to the social safety net including Social Security, SNAP, education and training programs, and funding for Pell Grants.

HUD Secretary Ben Carson wants to triple the rent charged by public housing agencies and raise the rents of federally subsidized housing to 35% of adjusted incomes, and now the poor are wondering how they'll eat.

The ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation has been embedding itself in the Trump administration.

The government isn't expected to make reporters testify in the trial of James Wolfe, the former Senate Intel staffer accused of LEAKING to a New York Times reporter.

A West Point graduate has been quit-fired from the Army after photos of him appearing to advocate for socialist revolution at the 2016 Westpoint graduation surfaced.

Trump's 2020 campaign manager and pubic beard model Brad Parscale tweeted mean things about Jeff Sessions, Robert Mueller, and HER EMAILS, and Rudy Giuliani (of all people) is telling him to STFU and stop giving "advice."

Fox News is reporting that Paul Manafort is being held in solitary confinement so that he doesn't get his ass kicked by someone looking for, according to his lawyer, "street cred."

Michael Cohen MIGHT be flipping on Trump, according to his friends. Cohen is planning on hiring Guy Petrillo, an experienced trial lawyer with a tendency to cut deals.

Harlan Hill, the faux Bernie-bro in a bow-tie who embraced Trump, has signed on to campaign with ex-con and former congress weasel Michael Grimm, calling him a "firebrand" and "a go-getter." According to one recent poll, the pro-Trump Grimm leads the barely moderate incumbent Rep. Dan Donovan by 10 points despite Donovan's endorsement from Trump.

Some congressional candidates are winning their primaries with only a few thousand dollars and a handful of volunteers. Who says you need money in politics?

More and more Democratic candidates are swearing they'll throw Nancy Pelosi under the bus if they're elected to Congress, causing all sorts of headaches for Pelosi allies.

In a now deleted Facebook post, a musician in Alabama said he'd "shoot" undocumented immigrants because he "doesn't give a shit about them, their kids, their shitty life or asylum" since they're not Americans and this is all part of the "libtard agenda." After a social media "shitstorm" for speaking "the truth," a Mexican restaurant hosting the band canceled their show last night, he was kicked out of the band, and his Facebook account was suspended. He says his remarks were taken out of context. Womp-Womp

DC bars and restaurants are in a tizzy this morning after voters passed a $15 minimum wage hike for service industry workers known as Initiative 77.

The Trump administration has pulled the US out of the UN Human Rights Council. UN Ambassador Nikki Haley cited a "cesspool of political bias" over the US's continued defense of Israel's increasingly violent action against Palestinians. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said the council is an "exercise in shameless hypocrisy, with many of the world's worst human rights abuses going ignored, and some of the world's most serious offenders sitting on the council itself." Pot, meet kettle.

The Pope has condemned the Trump immigration policy, calling it "immoral" and "contrary to our Catholic values," adding, "It's not easy, but populism is not the solution."

Canada just voted to legalize recreational marijuana, and your secret boyfriend Justin Trudeau couldn't be happier.

The Eurotrash head of USA Really, the new Russian troll factory attempting to sow discord in American politics with clickbait conspiracy theories, sat down for an interview and bragged about drawing the attention of the press, along with USA Really's ties to the indicted Russian oligarch known as "Putin's chef."

Thrip, a Chinese hacking group, has been attacking satellite operators and telecom companies with sophisticated malware that infects computers used for monitoring satellites.

The co-creator of the TV show "Modern Family" wants to leave Fox for its defense of the Trump administration's kidnapping and warehousing of immigrant children, stating, "I have no problem with fact-based conservatism (such as [the Wall Street Journal]), but @FoxNew's 23-hour-a-day support of the NRA, conspiracy theories and Trump's lies gets harder to swallow every day as I drive onto that lot to make a show about inclusion."

TRONC will change its name back to Tribune Publishing after realizing "tronc" was a terrible name from shitheaded people.

Former Cambridge Analytica stooge Aleksandr Kogan testified before Congress that there was "no evidence" the Trump campaign used stolen data as part of a micro-targeting campaign to demotivate voters during the 2016 election.

Early Internet and tech pioneers are warning that the EU's new copyright laws are so insane that they fundamentally break the Internet and allow governments and companies to indiscriminately spy on people for suspected copyright violations.

The corporate controlled piece of shit heading the FCC, Ajit Pai, is trying to whitewash widespread revulsion to his killing of net neutrality through a coordinated media campaign of op-eds and interviews.

And here's your morning Nice Time! Tiny goat adventures!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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