'When I Can, I Tell The Truth.' Wonkagenda for Thurs., Nov. 1, 2018

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Trump is threatening to triple the number of active-duty US forces being sent to the southern border, telling reporters he may send as many as 10,000 to 15,000 US soldiers, more than the current number of US forces currently stationed in Afghanistan. The military is trying to drill the rules for use of force into every soldier to avoid a catastrophe if/when the caravan of Middle Eastern Mexican asylum seekers (still about 1,000 miles away) eventually arrives in several weeks. Military documents show that Trump's human border wall is being advised to prepare for cartels looting gear, and bands of redneck vigilantes playing John Wayne. According to orders, troops are being deployed because the US is "imperiled by a drastic surge of illegal drugs, dangerous gang activity," and Middle Eastern Mexicans from Central American shithole countries.

The Coast Guard is quietly snatching up bad hombres on the high seas with cutters reportedly rescuing dozens of undocumented immigrants from "grossly overloaded" and "unseaworthy" boats that lack basic provisions and life jackets. Maybe Trump can build a wall in shark infested waters?

Trump has one-upped the original Willie Horton ad in the final days before the election with a new blatantly racist ad that shows a bad hombre given the death penalty for murdering two cops, and stock footage of people rioting. Nobody gets a weekend pass. :(

This is all part of Trump's midterm strategy: scare as many old white men as possible. By straight-up fearmongering and calling immigration a national emergency, he forces red state Democrats and purple state Republicans in landlocked Middle America to make dumbass, chicken shit statements about Not Americans. These immigration scare tactics are Stephen Miller's wet dream, and they're being carried out by people in the departments of Justice, Homeland Security, State, and Labor who want to create the impression that the US is being invaded by spoopy brown people with silly clothes and smelly food.

At a rally in Florida last night Trump denied being kicked out of Pittsburgh by Jewish families who thought it distasteful for a white supremacist to visit the scene of an anti-Semitic mass murder. He then brought out Republican Gov. Rick Scott to cum all over the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich, like himself), and Republican gubernatorial candidate Ron DeSantis to blow his dog whistle and threaten to impeach Andrew Gillum.

The ACA's open enrollment begins today and runs through Dec. 15, but Republican efforts to kill Obamacare have been in full swing for some time, so you'll want to double-check the fine print on the junk insurance plans. Those cheap plans might not have protections for people with pre-existing conditions.

In new interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Trump calls the #BlueWave dead, talks shit about Nancy Pelosi, and reminds everyone he's been a racist scumbag "for a long time."

In a separate interview with ABC's Jonathan Karl, Trump says HE TRIES to tell the truth, but sometimes things change, and he just has to lie about crowd sizes, "invasions" of taco trucks, and his tax cuts (for the super rich). "I always want to tell the truth," Trump rambles, "When I can, I tell the truth. And sometimes it turns out to be where something happens that's different or there's a change, but I always like to be truthful." This is, of course, a lie.

Gabe Sherman gossips that Kellyanne Conway may be getting "You're Fired" after the election due to her husband's constant trolling, and Steve Mnuchin may not be far behind as his trophy wife wants "the fuck out" of DC because everyone is just oh-so mean. John Kelly is reportedly sticking around due to Trump's fear that Kelly may become a backstabbing snitch if he leaves.

If she leaves, don't expect to see Kellyanne on CNN, since CNN's head cheese has no interest in "You're Hired-ing" any more loyal Trump minions. This follows a trend of former Trump officials who are finding it impossible to get a decent gig after bailing out of Trump's sinking ship.

E-cigarette companies have sheepishly admitted that they make fruity flavors for kids, so it's only natural that Trump's FDA is asking e-cigarette companies to come up with their own rules to keep fruit flavored robot dicks out of the mouths of teens.

As the GOP's midterm closer, Trump has almost a dozen rallies between now and election day. They're hoping his bastardized Glengarry Glen Ross shtick will be enough to save the asses of Senate Republicans.

A new Politico/Morning Consult poll conducted over the last week shows a majority of voters think Trump has divided the country with his vitriolic shouting.

A new WaPo poll shows Democrats are likely to take the House, but it's still unlikely they'll take the Senate.

Nice Time: There's a growing trend in a number of states to extend voting rights for all the people Republicans keep trying to keep quiet at the voting booth.

Melissa McKinnies, the mother of 24-year-old Danye Jones, says her son was "lynched" after his body was found hanging from a tree in a wooded area near St. Louis, MO. Local police are already calling it a suicide, but MicKinnies says her son's death was in retaliation for her role as an activist following the 2014 police shooting of Mike Brown.

Turkey says the Saudis wasted no time murdering journalist Jamal Khashoggi once he entered their embassy in Istanbul. In a grisly statement, the Turkish government says Khashoggi was immediately strangled to death and his body was promptly "dismembered and destroyed." The statement continues that there are signs his body was dissolved in acid and dumped in a well. Visiting Istanbul? Get bottled water.

The honeymoon period for French President Emmanuel Macron is over as many have come to view Macron as an arrogant prick with a lofty cosmetics bill who is only concerned about the wealthy. And that's the good news! Macron still has to battle rising authoritarian populism from Steve Bannon and the far-right, a task even more dire now that German Chancellor Angela Merkel has decided to fade into the background.

The US Air Force recently began reinforcing air bases in Europe with large containers of munitions, and increasing stockpiles of fuel, ammo, and equipment at specific locations. No particular reason.

NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg is asking Russia nicely to come clean about the ballistic missiles everyone knows it has, in order to preserve the existing INF treaty.

The WSJ reports that Russian internet trolls tried to get Chris Hardwick's internet-themed improv comedy show, "@midnight," back on the air. Nobody knows why, but it's theorized trolls used the show as a gateway to Western audiences, as a way to learn English, or how to properly shitpost.

Pro-democracy think tank Freedom House is warning authoritarian regimes are cracking down on dissent on the internet, and using it to disrupt the free flow of information with propaganda and disinformation for the eighth straight year, as well as spy on citizens.

More than 1,500 Google employees plan to participate in the #GoogleWalkOut today. Protesters are demanding Google change its sexual harassment policies in response to a $90 million dollar golden parachute and cover up that hid sexual harassment allegations against former executive Andy Rubin. People all over the world are already leaving their desks at 11:10 AM local time and leaving behind flyers calling for change and greater transparency.

And here's your morning Nice Time! LEOPARD SEALS!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and Instagram!

We're 100% ad-free and reader supported, so consider buying us coffee, or get a subscription!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc