'4Chan' Idiots Pee On Stupidest Man On Internet, Tell Him It's Raining
Jim Hoft is ON THE CASE!
Jim Hoft of The Gateway Pundit, The Stupidest Man On The Internet, was thrilled to report Tuesday night that Buzzfeed, CNN and our very own government GOT PUNKED! Totally punked you guys! Because they all believed the dossier on Trump (the one with the pee hookers) came from an MI6 agent... when in fact, it came from 4chan!
Yes, according to Jim Hoft, this is FAKE NEWS! And everyone but the clever Jim Hoft done fell for it! The fools!
According to 4Chan these documents were created by a 4Chan user and sent to anti-Trumper Rick Wilson knowing he would act on this tip:
4Chan discussed this tonight:
** Political hacks emailed documents to #NeverTrump jackass Rick Wilson about Trump making people piss on a bed.
** Rick Wilson thought it was real and gave it to leftists at the CIA
** The CIA of the USA put this in their official classified intelligence report on Russian involvement in the US election
** Donald Trump and Obama were both given private sessions with the CIA to discuss this.
** The CIA concluded that the Russians plan to blackmail Trump with this story we made up
4chan backs up its story that it was a hoax created by one of its users with a link to a post from November 1st:
So they took what I told Rick Wilson and added a Russian spy angle to it.
They still believe it. Guys, they’re truly fucking desperate – there’s no remaining Trump scandal that’s credible.
Oh, gee, yeah, that is some real incontrovertible proof there, Hoft/4chan! Some totally random 4chan user invented a fake intelligence dossier with a crazy story about Donald Trump paying for pee hookers and gave it to GOP strategist Rick Wilson, who then gave it to the CIA, who then also thought it was totally real, because how would the CIA have any way of vetting information randomly thought up by a 4chan troll, and then people from the CIA gave it to the press so they could hurt Donald Trump with it right before his inauguration. Yes, that seems like a real thing that might happen in real life!
Wilson responded to the 4chan theory on Medium this morning, denying he was Buzzfeed's source and explaining why the 4chan theory could not possibly be true -- because these were things that were being talked about far before November 1st of this year:
... [A]s regards the British memo run in BuzzFeed, I release ANY journalist I’ve talked to about Trump from any off-the-record/background protections of anonymity. Why? Because the first time I saw the memo was when BuzzFeed published it. I’ve never had possession of that memo, never shared it, never pitched it, and never requested or caused others to do so. Allegations from the memo were making the rounds in the IC, political, and media worlds, to be sure, but its origins are elsewhere. [...]
If you believe the Russian/4chan spin that this information came from them, you can’t use a calendar, or common sense. This information on Trump’s various personal and business dealings in Russia was being pursued by major campaigns and by major media to my knowledge as early as late July of 2015, and the “Ritz Carlton” information was out in the summer of 2016.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/608153/no-for-real-though-is-donald-trump-a-russian-intelligence-asset"></a>[/wonkbar]And, if you don't want to take Wilson's word for it, there is always the fact that David Corn of Mother Jones published an article about the dossier on October 31st, a day before that 4chan thread happened. Whoops again! For that matter, alleged ties between Trump foreign policy adviser Carter Page and the Russian government surfaced in the media in late September 2016, so those 4chan guys really need to get their time machine adjusted.
You see, the thing a lot of people don't understand about 4chan is that they're not "sources of intelligence." They're internet trolls, and the purest definition thereof. They want chaos, and they want reactions. They're the somewhat grown-up version of the boy sitting behind you putting gum in your hair and getting excited over you getting upset. They want people to think that they can create elaborate and believable hoaxes, when in every instance that they've tried, they've been found out within hours. Remember that time they tried to convince the world that Twitter feminists were trying to #EndFathersDay because we just like, really hate men? Or the time they tried to threaten to release nude pictures of Emma Watson if she wouldn't stop talking about feminism?
The number one rule of 4chan is to never, ever take 4chan seriously.
This is not to say they can't be dangerous; they absolutely can be. Christopher Harper-Mercer, best known for shooting up Umpqua Community College in Oregon, was an /r9k/ user who announced his intent to kill on 4chan before going through with it. They also invented the Pizzagate conspiracy theory, which was believed by an unfortunate number of people, including the guy who shot up the pizza place in Washington, and also the son of Donald Trump's national security advisor, Michael Flynn. (And maybe even Flynn himself!)
Many of them, in fact, see the entire election of Donald Trump as a successful troll on our country. However, by and large, they are mostly bored idiots (or, as they say, "NEETS," meaning Not in Education, Employment or Training") with so little going on in their lives that their only joy and amusement comes from the jolt of power they get from a successful troll. They do it, as they say, "for the lulz."
So ... we'd wish Jim Hoft better luck next time, but he's the Stupidest Man On The Internet, so we won't be keeping our hopes up about "next time."
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse