A Children's Pizza Mascot and Ron Paul: Tomorrow's First GOP Presidential Debate


Here are the five candidates who will appear onstage in Greenville, South Carolina tomorrow.

Herman Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza

Gary Johnson, former Governor of New Mexico

Ron Paul, U.S. Representative from Texas

Tim Pawlenty, former Governor of Minnesota

Rick Santorum, former Senator from Pennsylvania

[...] Buddy Roemer, the former congressman and governor of Louisiana, did not make the cut. Neither did stunt candidate Fred Karger, a gay Republican who has worked in politics but never held office.

Who did make it? Herman Cain, a children's pizza mascot who has neither worked in politics or held office. But the Republicans need a black person in this race so it seems like they have a degree of diversity, so suddenly they believe in affirmative action. All of Herman Cain's answers will be written in pepperoni on a pizza and held up for the crowd to see.

We'll liveblog this thing tomorrow, we guess, even though all of the "good" (very slightly less lame) candidates won't show up. [Weigel]


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc