A Children's Treasury Of Conservatives Reacting To Cliven Bundy Stepping On His Own Dick

You know that guy out in the desert who made a whole bunch of crazy statements that upset the authorities and caused a confrontation with the man’s many supporters, and then later a whole bunch of those supporters turned around and publicly denied him while others clung to the belief that he was a prophet who spoke the truth about the issues of his times? Yeah, that guy. Today is a new day and yet the storm over him continues. Let’s racesplore.

We had a gut-buster of a day in the Wonkette newsroom watching Cliven Bundy try to walk back his rather intemperate comments about African-Americans and whether they were better off as cotton-picking slaves, because it is 2014 and apparently there are some people for whom this issue is not yet settled. Some of Mr. Bundy’s biggest supporters continue to support him. Others have as of mid-afternoon Thursday remained quiet. Still others have backed away like a bunch of conservative squishes.

Governor Rick Perry of Texas, having possibly had his brain altered by the smart rays given off by his new glasses, had a spokesman tell Business Insider that he thinks the comments were “reprehensible” and he disagrees with them “in the strongest possible way.” Senator Rand Paul, a Bundy supporter who also perhaps learned his lesson about giving voice to his racist Inner Child when he questioned whether the Civil Rights Act might have gone too far, also told Business Insider that the remarks were offensive and he disagreed with them. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, perhaps remembering for once that his party might need black people to vote for it if it ever wants to win another presidential election, also denounced Bundy’s idiocy.

Even among Nevada politicians, Bundy is losing support. Sen. Dean Heller (R-NV) has called Bundy and his supporters patriots, but condemned the sagebrush scofflaw’s comments as “appalling and racist.” Hell, even Michele Fiore, that nutty Nevada state assemblywoman who nearly made Chris Hayes’s head explode the other day, “strongly disagree[d]” with Bundy, though she also wanted to make sure everyone knew that the kerfuffle should not distract from the atrocities the BLM is committing against Cliven and his ranch. Spoiler alert: He's still wrong about that too.

Bundy himself tried to walk back his comments, first by telling Alex Jones he would appreciate the New York Times retracting that terrible story wherein the paper quoted him accurately, and then later pretty much repeating his initial comments to wingnut radio host Peter Schiff.

I'm wondering if they're better off under a government subsidy and their young women are having the abortions and their young men are in jail and their older women and children are sitting out on the cement porch without nothing to do.

I'm wondering: Are they happier now under this government subsidy system than they were when they were slaves and they was able to [have] their family structure together and the chickens and the garden and the people have something to do?

So in my mind, are they better off being slaves in that sense or better off being slaves to the United States government in the sense of the subsidy? I'm wondering. The statement was right. I am wondering.

See, people? He’s simply asking the question! It would be irresponsible not to, etc.! Also, he has a black friend standing out in his yard right now. (No really, he said that.)

Media Matters also turned up a grainy cellphone video of Bundy making the original remarks, which we have helpfully embedded at the top of the post. This quickly led to a brief outbreak of Trutherism.

Also, show us the birth certificate!

Thankfully that died quickly when Bundy gave an afternoon press conference (complete with black friend!) in which he pretty much just repeated everything he had already said, as if the repetition of his fact-free babbling would magically bring America over to his point of view. What the hell, it usually works for Republicans in elections!

And that brings us mostly up to date on America’s new Jesus, Cliven Bundy, at least as of late yesterday afternoon. We were going to see what the Fox News talking derp factories had to say on their evening shows, but since as of the late afternoon the channel had apparently not bothered to give Bundy’s comments any airtime, we didn't bother to watch.

Follow Gary on Twitter. He thinks his people are also better off without slavery.


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