A Children's Treasury Of Derp: Your Weekend Roundup Of Dumbth
Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let's give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool a few people, including Stupidest Guest Blogger On the Internet Mara Zebest, over at Gateway Pundit, whose impassioned overreaction -- "Obama is a thin-skinned man-child and the laughing stock of the world" -- doesn't really depend on the veracity of the source material anyway. After commenters pointed out that Borowitz is satire -- and a commenter whined about Obama being elected by "low information voters who get their info from Hollywood and comedians" -- Zebest pulled the article, but it's preserved by the magic of Google cache. Thanks, internet! Wonkette wishes a speedy recovery to Jim Hoft, and is exploring the possibility of asking Andy Borowitz to run a story about the $3150 that Gateway Pundit owes us.
Now stop fapping over economic statistics, you pervs.
“What’s changed the most is the president’s leadership has degraded,” Grimm said. “As a U.S. Marine, as a member of Congress, I wanted to support our Commander in Chief, but it seems like he’s done just about everything he can to bungle this. I really have lost faith in his ability as the Commander in Chief to handle this crisis in Syria.”
Grimm came to this important realization when Obama asked for congressional approval last week, but did not immediately call Congress back into session, and arglebargle element of surprise and "Assad starts moving his cache of whatever weapons he has to hospitals and Mosques and schools or wherever else” also too. Also, his constituents have informed him they really do not like Barack Obama.
“Can we stop dividing ourselves?” he asked. “Do racists exist? Yes. Do bigots exist? Yes. But most of us are not. Most Americans just want to get along. Why can’t we do that? What has happened to us?”
Two paragraphs later, however, when Chozick pointed out, “But you said you were going to hunt down progressives like an Israeli Nazi hunter,” Beck immediately railed against his perceived enemies on the left.
“Oh, I will,” he assured her. “I think these guys are the biggest danger in the world. It’s the people like Mao, people that believe that big government is the answer, it always leads to millions dead -- always.”
So presumably, once we've exterminated the progressives, we can all get along and hold hands.
"I look at the president, I think he's violated the Constitution. I think he's violated the law. I think he's abused his power but at the end of the day you have to say if the House decides to impeach him, if the House had an impeachment vote it would probably impeach the president."
Yep, they're totally going to impeach the president. Getting right to it. Any day now. His aggression against the Constitution will not stand, man. Yep. Impeachment train's a-comin' all right. Going to take Our Country back...
[Gateway Pundit / Business Insider / LGF / MediaMatters / RawStory /Townhall.com / Mediaite / NYT via RawStory / Maddow Blog]
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.