A Christlike Get-Well-Soon Card For Rick Wiles, Who Survived The COVID Genocide!

coronavirus

Batshit End Times pastor idiot Rick Wiles, almost precisely one month ago:

"I am not going to be vaccinated," Wiles said. "I'm going to be one of the survivors. I'm going to survive the genocide."

"I am not going to allow the COVID maniacs to convince me to be vaccinated or [to] vaccinate me against my will," he continued. "I know what I'm reading. I know what I'm seeing. There is a mass death campaign underway right now—and I don't care what people [say], they can they write any article they want to write about me, they can do everything they can to deplatform me—I'm going to survive a global genocide."

"The only good thing that will come out of this is a lot of stupid people will be killed off," Wiles added. "If the vaccine wipes out a lot of stupid people, well, we'll have a better world. I'm going to survive. I'm going to survive by God's grace; by his will, I'm going to survive the genocide."

Batshit End Times pastor idiot Rick Wiles, one month later, AKA right now: In the hospital with COVID-19.

But fret not, children of the Lord, for Rick Wiles announced a few minutes ago that he has survived! He has survived the "CCP Covid genocide," and also the other genocide, the one that happens when you get vaccinated, because he ain't gonna get vaccinated! And later today, he's going home from the hospital! Glory hallelujah!



Before we go any further, we'd like to remind you that all commenting rules are in full effect, because we are not here to be dicks. We are here to tell Rick Wiles best wishes for his continued recovery. Saying anything else would be un-Christlike. We don't ever want harm, tribulation, or pestilence to befall our ideological opponents. We want them to become better, healthier, less batshit people.

Likewise, we imagine that if the shoe were on the other foot, and the Wonkette newsroom became a COVID cluster, Rick Wiles would be equally gracious, haha just kidding, no he wouldn't and also we're all vaccinated because we're not morons.

Right Wing Watch shares the announcement from Wiles's TruNews this past Sunday, which explained that both Wiles and his wife had COVID-19, and that he was in the hospital. (It seems the TruNews studio started becoming a COVID cluster last week.) The announcement noted that the "naysayers and mockers have started with their taunts," and added, "Let them speak their foolish words and let them mock. It will only serve to be used to fuel their flames of torment in hell, unless they repent."

So that's a lot. Here we are signing a nice get well card for the man, and TruNews is saying loving Lord Jesus is going to burn us all in hell. Fuck.

We would hope that after Wiles's speedily progressing recovery that maybe this experience might encourage him to rethink his conspiracy theories about how the COVID-19 vaccine is itself — what was it? — oh that's right, a "global genocide." We would hope that maybe he'd rethink his whole thing about how COVID-19 was spreading early on in Jewish communities because "God's dealing with false religions," declaring that "there's a death angel across the world."

"God is spreading it in your synagogues!" Wiles bellowed. "You are under judgment because you oppose his son, Jesus Christ. That is why you have a plague in your synagogues."

We would hope those things. But we're not, like, holding our breath or nothin'.

Keep getting better, Rick. We mean it. And when your body is all better, work on your brain.

Hey Wonkette commenters, quick review: What did we say about the commenting rules? Was it:

A) What commenting rules?

B) Wonkette does not allow comments?

or

C) Commenting rules are in full effect?

The answer is always "C."

If for no other reason besides how you wouldn't want your foolish naysayer taunt mockings to fuel the flames of your hellburnings!

[Right Wing Watch]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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