A Funny Thing Happened On Michael Flynn's Way To Jail
There's weird shit going down in the Michael Flynn case, and Yr Wonkette is ... well, honestly it is all HEENNNGGHH and WUT in the Slack at the moment. Over on Three Star Twitter, however, they are all sure Flynn is about to blow the lid off this whole Mueller Witch Hunt and withdraw his guilty plea. So, before the MAGA loons saturate the airwaves with their craycray, let's sort out what we do know here.
On Friday, Judge Emmet Sullivan, the one who told Flynn to get his ass back to Mueller's office and cooperate a whole lot more if he didn't want to get LOCK HER UPPED for a good long time, got what looked like a big FUCK YOU from the prosecutors. He'd ordered them to unredact the portions of the Mueller Report relating to Flynn and publicize the transcript of the call between Flynn and Sergei Kislyak and the transcript and audiofile of the voicemail where the president's lawyer John Dowd may or may not have dangled a pardon to Flynn's lawyer. We all got to see the voicemail, and Dowd's hilarous comic sans response. (Not in purple? Rip off!)
John Dowd has issued a statement on his voicemail. He used Comic Sans. https://t.co/eKdYoCJpAz— Ryan J. Reilly (@Ryan J. Reilly)1559337757.0
But the government argued that the rest of the information requested was not probative to Flynn's sentence. And instead of losing his shit, Judge Sullivan issued this minute order on Tuesday saying, Uh, well, okay then.
Just in: Judge Emmet Sullivan appears to have let prosecutors off the hook in producing the Flynn-Kislyak transcrip… https://t.co/iSFoqKlL3J— Natasha Bertrand (@Natasha Bertrand)1559685474.0
But this afternoon, Sullivan ordered his clerk to put the audio of the Dowd voicemail on the public docket immediately.
The judge in Michael Flynn's case has ordered the clerk's office to file on the public docket the audio file of the… https://t.co/4M94bXSoCl— Zoe Tillman (@Zoe Tillman)1559845925.0
So it looks like he won't be simply taking the government's NO, FUCK YOU for an answer. Will he be posting the transcript of the phone calls as well? Dunno! But while we were typing, a less redacted version of the Flynn 302 appeared on the docket. So ... something is up. (NB, here's a good thread comparing the more and less redacted versions. Worth a read!)
Meanwhile, Michael Flynn went and fired his lawyers today.
BREAKING: Michael FLYNN has fired his counsel and is retaining a new lawyer ahead of his sentencing. https://t.co/T5kqfassDX— Kyle Cheney (@Kyle Cheney)1559833946.0
FOR WHY? Does he blame Robert Kelner and Steve Anthony of Covington Burling for the disastrous brief where he tried to pretend HE WUZ FRAMED by the mean FBI agents? Is CNN right that he's worried about going into the Bijan Kian trial represented by the same firm that allegedly botched his FARA filing? Is he just out of cash, and needs someone cheaper?
Or is he about to withdraw his guilty plea and bring the hammer down on all the treasonous Obummer demons? Tell us, Three Stars Twitter!
Trust the plan! Unless "the plan" involves attempting to withdraw your guilty plea five minutes before sentencing after you've given a hundred hours of incriminating testimony, the government has you on tape doing something you later lied about to the FBI, and you got caught violating the Foreign Agents Registration Act six ways from Sunday. Then, maybe you should come up with a different plan!
Or don't! If Michael Flynn wants to get his ass thrown in jail, we ain't mad about it! But who will represent the august general from here on out? What superlawyer is Michael Flynn saving the last dance for?
NEW: I'm told General Flynn's new lawyer is very high profile and appears on TV regularly "A name everyone will recognize"— Jack Posobiec 🇺🇸 (@Jack Posobiec 🇺🇸)1559837068.0
Pleaseohplease let it be Gregg Jarrett. That's how you know a lawyer is the real deal, when he's on teevee all the time. You bet! Politico reports that it's not Rudy Giuliani or Alan Dershowitz. But Joe DiGenova and his lovely wife Victoria Toensing said, "We are not at liberty to discuss."
Shit's gonna get weird! Errr ... WEIRDER!
Follow your FDF on Twitter!
Please click here to fund your Wonkette! We'll be here waiting for your donation, clicking refresh over and over on that Flynn docket.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.