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Donald Trump has always taken great pains to let us know his 2016 "victory" was the greatest victory ever achieved. It was like scaling Mount Everest uphill both ways in the snow in high heels while singing the Mozart "Queen of the Night" aria, and then sticking the landing of a perfect triple axel on the way back down, and then immediately preparing the perfect Beef Wellington. Of course Trump wouldn't get any of those references, because he's a moron.

Point is, Trump won 306 Electoral College votes in 2016, and moreover won the popular vote by negative three million. Historic! Inhumanly impressive! "We won by a very, very large Electoral College vote," he told Justin Trudeau in 2017. He's been handing out maps of his Electoral College victory in the Oval Office his entire presidency. He asked a crowd of Boy Scouts, "Do you remember that incredible night with the maps?"

CNN's Daniel Dale has a great rundown of Trump's quotes about his 2016 Electoral College victory, which was a "TREMENDOUS LANDSLIDE" and also "We had an Electoral College landslide. Okay? It was a landslide" and "As you know, Congressman, we had a landslide — 306 to 223. We had a landslide":

Well, kids, there's been a lot of speculation in the past few days that this might happen, but it's getting official: Joe Biden has won the presidency with 306 votes in the Electoral College. Which is a "massive landslide victory" and also all the other things Trump has said about it.


Important polling entities started officially calling Arizona last night. (Fox News and AP did it a million years ago, or last week.) Decision Desk came first last night, and then Dave Wasserman from the Cook Political Report, AKA @Redistrict on Twitter. When Wasserman says he's "seen enough," that means he has seen enough. It's literally in his Twitter bio. It came after a late dump of votes from Maricopa County.

The rest of the networks will follow soon.

With Georgia, that brings us to 306 electoral votes for Biden, and "Trump inauguration crowd" electoral votes for Trump. Or 232, to be more specific, which is what Hillary Clinton won before faithless electors. Trump assured us many times that is a LOSER NUMBER. (And why are we including Georgia? Because everybody is. Networks decided not to call Georgia because there's going to be a hand recount, but Biden is ahead by more than 14,000 votes there with over 99 percent reporting. Recounts don't change margins like that.)

Trump is of course whining on Twitter this morning that if they "audit" the results in Arizona, he will "easily win" it. Which seems to run counter to what the Republican attorney general of Arizona had to say about that yesterday:

"It does appear that Joe Biden will win Arizona," state Attorney General Mark Brnovich said in a Wednesday interview with Fox Business host Neil Cavuto. "There is no evidence, there are no facts that would lead anyone to believe that the election results will change."

Brnovich explained how this result happened in Arizona, and it is that people split their tickets. Republicans didn't fare badly in Arizona on November 3, with the exception of the presidential race and the Senate race. Guess a lot of Arizonans just hate Trump's and Martha McSally's guts and the air they breathe and the ground they walk on, even if they are otherwise willing to vote for Republicans.

In other fun election landslide news, Wasserman reports that for the first time since 1984, the vote margin in Colorado will be double digits, because Biden is ahead there by 13.5 percent.

Of course, Biden is also winning the vote of the people by over five million and counting, and when it's all said and done it'll be over six million, which means his landslide is even more massive than Trump's. Biden flipped five states Trump won, and also a congressional district in a state that splits its electoral votes (Nebraska's second), and according to math, he flipped the margins in Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania and Michigan by over 100,000 votes. So Biden's landslide is just that much greater than Trump's, which looks very puny in comparison, even with that weird oversized misshapen mushroom head at the end of it.

Joe Scarborough shared Biden's Electoral College map on Twitter this morning:

Lately we have seen The Punditry, in analyzing this election, telling us Biden has won the greatest number of votes in a presidential election in human American history, but quickly reminding us that Donald Trump has now won the second greatest number of votes in a presidential election in human history.

Well, you know what they say about that: They say "SECOND PLACE" IS "FIRST LOSER," GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE, DONALD.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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