The Light Snow That Absolutely Decimated D.C.: A War Album
It snowed! Water! It fell from the sky and stuck to the ground! 500 million or so fewer inches of snow fell yesterday than fell during the Snowpocalypse, when D.C. was really knocked back to the stone ages; but the city was rendered helpless anyway, because that's what always happens in your Nation's Capital!
Congratulations! You may have sat in traffic for 13 hours last night just to get home, or brought a child into the world on the freeway, or spun in circles while trying to go up a hill, but your local government is very proud of the job it did clearing the roads! Even the President eventually made it home last night. Mayor Gray will now go buy himself another SUV and get to work dismantling D.C.'s education system.
How did you spend your evening? Enjoying a snowball fight in Dupont Circle? Gleefully refreshing opm.gov/status, praying that whoever, whatever OPM is that he just let you have the day off, PLEASE? Finding a small child to take care of so you could work from home?
The Fojol Brothers gave out free food at the snowball fight, thinking it was an excellent opportunity to educate Washingtonians about Food Truck Rights. (Food Truck have rights? Sure they do. 9/11. Never Forget). But then everyone just ate the Fojol's piles of rice and sanctimony and stopped throwing balls of wet snow at each other. Way to ruin a perfectly good snowball fight, truck that serves excellent curry.
Only two days until there's another storm and snow piles on top of unplowed snow and the city falls apart once again! Hooray!