Airlines Invite DHS Spox Tyler Houlton To Fly The Friendly GO FUCK YOURSELF
There have been several shining moments this week, as the public learned about and became OUTRAGED by Donald Trump's policy of grabbing migrant families by the pussy and tearing them to shreds. For instance, hello to all the lovely amazing lawyers and immigration nonprofits and regular old Americans raising millions in bail money for people arrested at the border! WE SEE YOU. Another shining moment has been watching airlines saying they are taking a HARD PASS on transporting little children out of their mommies' and daddies' arms and into the sky.
As of this writing, American, United, Southwest, Frontier, and Alaska Airlines have all said in their own ways that they want no part of Trump's family separation policy, which still exists, please do not be fooled into thinking President Good For Nothing actually did any damn thing ever. Delta Airlines is notably not on the list, but its CEO said the only immigrant babies it's transported have been reuniting with their families, as opposed to being separated, to which we reply SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE A STAND, DELTA, WE FUCKING FLEW YOUR AIRLINE TWO WEEKS AGO AND HAD A VERY LOVELY EXPERIENCE IN FIRST CLASS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOUR CHICKEN SALAD DINNER OPTION WAS VERY LOVELY, BUT NOW WE ARE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU IN ALL CAPS, UNFORTUNATELY.
Sorry for the impromptu Yelp review!
Anyway, while all normal people are praising these airlines (BUT NOT DELTA, and also not this shitty charter airline called Xtra Airways that takes rednecks to Cancun and deported migrants back to the personal hells from which they fled), there is somebody who is having a TIZZY, and it is Tyler Houlton, who is the Sarah Huckabee Sanders of the Department of Homeland Security, and did we mention he is having a TIZZY?
Buckling to a false media narrative only exacerbates the problems at our border and puts more children at risk from… https://t.co/7x6okHHEAm— Matt Leas (@Matt Leas)1529519162.0
As we said, TIZZY!
Before we say anything else, TYLER, you little entitled shit, there is no "crisis" at the border besides the one your shitmouth bosses created, TYLER. These airlines would love to help reunite families, we are sure, as soon as y'all motherfuckers come up with a plan to do that, which you don't have right now, TYLER, because the entire Trump administration is Amateur Night, every night.
OK, we are done talking to TYLER, except to say how we are sorry about how unemployable he's going to be once this administration fully self-destructs.
Let's instead check in with Ken Klippenstein, Daily Beast reporter, who has just been trying to find out the inside scoop on Tyler Huckabee Sanders, and guess who didn't like that:
DHS' spokesman, @SpoxDHS, just called me and demanded I stop soliciting tips about him via Twitter. He also asked w… https://t.co/HnDw7SJikf— Ken Klippenstein (@Ken Klippenstein)1529523662.0
Uh oh, Tyler! Troubling allegations! But what could they be? Considering this administration, we're tempted to assume it's ... oh God, it could literally be anything. They're all such pieces of shit.
Anyway, what a fucking baby. Maybe when Sarah McLieFace quits, Tyler With The Full Diaper will get promoted onto the White House comms team and we can see what a twat he is more often.
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