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Al Gore Fires Keith Olbermann For Being Terrible

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Sanctimonious screeching creep Keith Olbermann, whose ego isn't the size of Jupiter but certainly is that of Jupiter's largest moon, has been fired from his 757th job on television, for being horrible. Current TeeVee owner and other relatively liberal person Al Gore was the one who did the firing, in an explosive memo which arrived at the common conclusion that Keith Olbermann is someone with whom it's impossible to work. His replacement -- starting tonight -- will be former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, last seen achieving the remarkable feat of being CNN's most boring primetime host and, before that, constantly having sex with prostitutes.But but but, you will inevitably say in the comments because that's what you always do on Olbermann posts, Keith Olbermann was the only thing that kept me sane during the Bush administration, with his unwatchable 10-minute fake rants where he pretended to be Ed Murrow! Never understood it; can't offer you much help in that regard.


THE POLITICO has the hot cable television news, of Al Bore being mean to Dearest Keith:

“Current was also founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers,” write Current founders Al Gore and Joel Hyatt in an open memo to viewers. “Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

Editor Rebecca has asked your author to post some "greatest hits" of his craziest moments, but your author has never watched Keith Olbermann's Current TV program. Here he is announcing that he'd been forced out of his last job:

You can catch Olbermann reading Thurber out of a cardboard box in Central Park, weeknights at 3 a.m.

UPDATE: Keith is suing Al Gore!

[POLITICO]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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