Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Wishes Godless Gaywads Would Stop Pickin' On Him

In the middle, Judge Shitwhistle. On the left, Kim Davis's idiot lawyer Mat Staver, who always looks like he's just been caught dildoing himself to furry porn. We don't know who the lady staring at the judge's ass is.

Roy Moore, chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, is a magnificent buffoon. You 'member him. He's the justice who's been standing in the courthouse door, trying to block the big gay U.S. Supreme Court from throatcramming his precious Alabammy with gay marriage. Don't those nine unelected robe-wearers know Roy Moore filed an appeal directly to God, and God ruled agin' it, in a secret ruling handed down only to Roy Moore?

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]ANYSHIZZLE, he is very upset right now, because he's been telling probate judges not to do their fucking jobs and issue marriage licenses, and due to what SOME VIEW as his petulant bigoted obstinance, the Gaywad-O-Crats at the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) filed an ethics complaint against him. How is THAT even legal?

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Moore held a presser with that dipshit Mat Staver -- Kim Davis's idiot lawyer, who loses cases a lot -- to whine about how "atheist, transgenders and homosexuals" are persecuting him for loving Jesus so much. Now you may think he's just a goat-fingering redneck who's not following the law he's sworn to uphold, but HEAR THIS GOOD OL' BOY OUT:

For months, I've sat back while complaint after complaint has been filed by persons and individuals and organizations which have mischaracterized and misstated my position. [...] This is not about any wrongdoing I've done, this is not about ethics, this is about MARRIAGE. And it's about my legal judgments ...

He says it "murge," because he's a hick. Also, as The New Civil Rights Movement points out, the Judicial Inquiry Commission of Alabama will decide whether he's done anything wrong. (Hint: HE HAS, because he thinks he's above the fucking Supreme Court, and he's ordering Alabama officials to defy them, which is KIND OF A "WRONGDOING" AND A "ETHICS" IF YOU ASK US, AHEM.)

A journalist asks if Moore feels like he's been "targeted" by the god-hater gay-boners, and he tells a sad story about what had happened was:

Ambrosia Starling, a transvestite, and her followers ... assembled on the courthouse steps ... and they performed a mock wedding, which is in violation of the orders of the Alabama Supreme Court ... and no action was taken against them. We're in a serious time in our country. We're in a time when people who just a few years ago would've been ascribed a mental illness, a mental disorder.

When I started in 2013, if that woulda happened then, this person and the people around her woulda been -- some of the people around HIM -- woulda been said to have a mental disorder! [...] Today that person ... has violated a court order, and is now bringing complaints against the chief justice.

Awww boo boo, is a gay-gender makin' you feel icky in your tiny 'Bama man parts? Also, is she a transvestite or a transgender? Those are different things, #TransFact.

Kim Davis's dumb motherfucker lawyer Mat Staver said it was an "admitted transvestite" who did the mock wedding, which is crazy, when they not only cross-dress but ADMIT IT. Can't you keep that to yourselves, you dress-wearing men?

Anyway, this is all very sad and tragic and we sure hope the LGBT meanies stop bothering him, just kidding no we don't, we hope they dog his ass until the day he dies of natural causes, naked, sad and stupid as the pathetic day he was born. Is that mean of us to say?

[AL.comThe New Civil Rights Movement]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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