Donate

In the middle, Judge Shitwhistle. On the left, Kim Davis's idiot lawyer Mat Staver, who always looks like he's just been caught dildoing himself to furry porn. We don't know who the lady staring at the judge's ass is.


Roy Moore, chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, is a magnificent buffoon. You 'member him. He's the justice who's been standing in the courthouse door, trying to block the big gay U.S. Supreme Court from throatcramming his precious Alabammy with gay marriage. Don't those nine unelected robe-wearers know Roy Moore filed an appeal directly to God, and God ruled agin' it, in a secret ruling handed down only to Roy Moore?

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/597641/alabama-chief-justice-roy-moore-rubbing-his-judicial-wang-all-over-gay-marriage-again"></a>[/wonkbar]ANYSHIZZLE, he is very upset right now, because he's been telling probate judges not to do their fucking jobs and issue marriage licenses, and due to what SOME VIEW as his petulant bigoted obstinance, the Gaywad-O-Crats at the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) filed an ethics complaint against him. How is THAT even legal?

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/595830/kim-daviss-lawyer-tells-elected-official-to-do-her-damn-job-for-real"></a>[/wonkbar]Moore held a presser with that dipshit Mat Staver -- Kim Davis's idiot lawyer, who loses cases a lot -- to whine about how "atheist, transgenders and homosexuals" are persecuting him for loving Jesus so much. Now you may think he's just a goat-fingering redneck who's not following the law he's sworn to uphold, but HEAR THIS GOOD OL' BOY OUT:

For months, I've sat back while complaint after complaint has been filed by persons and individuals and organizations which have mischaracterized and misstated my position. [...] This is not about any wrongdoing I've done, this is not about ethics, this is about MARRIAGE. And it's about my legal judgments ...

He says it "murge," because he's a hick. Also, as The New Civil Rights Movement points out, the Judicial Inquiry Commission of Alabama will decide whether he's done anything wrong. (Hint: HE HAS, because he thinks he's above the fucking Supreme Court, and he's ordering Alabama officials to defy them, which is KIND OF A "WRONGDOING" AND A "ETHICS" IF YOU ASK US, AHEM.)

A journalist asks if Moore feels like he's been "targeted" by the god-hater gay-boners, and he tells a sad story about what had happened was:

Ambrosia Starling, a transvestite, and her followers ... assembled on the courthouse steps ... and they performed a mock wedding, which is in violation of the orders of the Alabama Supreme Court ... and no action was taken against them. We're in a serious time in our country. We're in a time when people who just a few years ago would've been ascribed a mental illness, a mental disorder.

When I started in 2013, if that woulda happened then, this person and the people around her woulda been -- some of the people around HIM -- woulda been said to have a mental disorder! [...] Today that person ... has violated a court order, and is now bringing complaints against the chief justice.

Awww boo boo, is a gay-gender makin' you feel icky in your tiny 'Bama man parts? Also, is she a transvestite or a transgender? Those are different things, #TransFact.

Kim Davis's dumb motherfucker lawyer Mat Staver said it was an "admitted transvestite" who did the mock wedding, which is crazy, when they not only cross-dress but ADMIT IT. Can't you keep that to yourselves, you dress-wearing men?

Anyway, this is all very sad and tragic and we sure hope the LGBT meanies stop bothering him, just kidding no we don't, we hope they dog his ass until the day he dies of natural causes, naked, sad and stupid as the pathetic day he was born. Is that mean of us to say?

[AL.comThe New Civil Rights Movement]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc