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Hey, Alabama House Speaker Mike Hubbard! Whatcha doin'? Oh, getting arrested on23 counts of felony corruption? Well, that sounds about right. What did you do, steer a whole bunch of fake contracts to yourself and third parties who were really just shell companies for you, while you were head of the Alabama GOP? That's what it sounds like? Well, boys will be boys, ain't that right, fella?


Won't you splainer the counts for us, Al.com?

  • Four counts of using of his office as Chairman of the Alabama Republican Party for personal gain;
  • One count of voting for legislation with a conflict of interest;
  • Eleven counts of soliciting or receiving a thing of value from a lobbyist or principal;
  • Two counts of using his office as a member of the Alabama House of Representatives for personal gain;
  • Four Counts of lobbying an executive department or agency for a fee;
  • One count of using state equipment, materials, etc. for private gain.

Oh please, is any of that even illegal? We don't even see a bribe menu, or a dirty hot tub full of hooers.

Tell us it was a witch hunt, Speaker Hubbard!

"Friends, if there was any doubt that this was a political witch hunt, I think it is pretty clear right now that is exactly what it is," Hubbard said. "This has been going on for two years, dragging on and on, and here they come two weeks before an election and make these allegations. The fact is that we've done some great things in this state and some powerful people don't like it."

Have you? Have you done some great things in the state? Which great thing do you mean? The law saying fetuses will get their own lawyers? Or where your AG wanted to outlaw buttsechs or he wouldn't be able to prosecute rape?

Because we haven't seen many other "great things" you guys have been up to, mostly because you are Alabama :(

Anyways, good luck staying out of prison, but at least you're not a woman going to prison -- because hoooooo boy, that would suck! -- for "reason."

[Al.com]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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