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Totally essential. (Pic viasome Breitbart dude on Twitter.)


IMAGINE: It's Christmastime and the barely elected fascist savior of America is a-comin' to Alabammy to let Alabammy idiots mash their furry paws together and raise their idiot voices in praise of the autocratic thug with the bad hair and face, so what do you do? Well, a rally like that calls for a Christmas tree, of course! So do you go to Big Lots and buy a cheap piece of crap tree, because screw Donald Trump? No way! Do you go to Saks and get a gold-plated luxurious artificial tree, and instead of an angel or a star on top, you put a big figurine of Trump elegantly grabbing everybody by the pussy? That could work, but nah. Do you go buy a real Christmas tree from a real Christmas tree farm, to present to Dear Leader? NO WAY, BUBBA, that's not a meaningful gift from your heart!

No, instead you go to a public park and you murder a tree, a special tree, A CHOSEN TREE, a FIFTY GOLDANG FOOT TALL TREE, to bestow upon the thin-skinned despot, for your rally. That is what you do. It is the only appropriate thing:

The chief of staff to Mobile Mayor Sandy Stimpson issued a public apology Sunday for his responsibility in having a cedar tree cut down at Public Safety Memorial Park Friday and transported to Ladd-Peebles Stadium as a prop during President-elect Donald Trump's rally on Saturday.

Colby Cooper, who has been Stimpson's chief of staff since 2013, said he became "overzealous" in making sure "every detail was covered and the expectations" of Trump's team were exceeded ahead of Saturday's televised rally.

"I now know that there are citizens who are upset and offended that a tree from a city park was used as part of the decorations for the event," Cooper said in a statement sent out to the local media. "I accept full responsibility for having this done. For this, I sincerely apologize. Going forward, I will be more sensitive to the spectrum of concerns regarding trees."

Colby Cooper will be "more sensitive" about whacking trees to death for no reason in the future, as he has learned his lesson, and is definitely not sneering sarcastically. He will not take chainsaws to them, and then decorate them in honor of our beloved leader, and also use them to cover up the scoreboard at the venue where the rally was held. Now, it may be that Trump does not trust scoreboards, as some funny hijinks-doer might be tempted to display the running popular vote total for the US American election on them, which would severely distract Trump from Making America Great Again. And he is so easily distracted anyway!

We checked Trump's Twitter to see if he is sorry that Christmas tree died for his sins, but his only tweet about Alabama is this stupid picture of a buncha dumb people hanging on to the puss-grabber's every mangled word:

Know what was #MadeInTheUSA, Donald Trump? That tree. Pfffffft, Wonkette hates everything now, goodbye.

[AL.com]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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