Self-five!

Imagine you are a person. You with us so far? OK good.

Imagine you are a person who has a job that's say, 851.64 miles from your house, if you use roads, and are willing to travel through Canada to get there. By air it is 573.44 miles.

Imagine there is only one airline that takes that flight, which takes about an hour and a half.

Yes, you might have imagined that your job is in Alaska.

Do you think it would be an A) good idea or a B) bad idea, to really piss off the one airline that operates the flight that takes you to work?

Alaska state Senator Lora Reinbold (R-obviously) thought it was a good idea. And you know what she did? She was a fucking dick about Alaska Airlines' mask policy, which is in place because there's this whole pandemic. Indeed she was a dick numerous times.


So Alaska Airlines said fine, you don't get to fly with us. Maybe you could use a different airline, HAHA WE'RE THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN, DICKWAD!

"We have notified Senator Lora Reinbold that she is not permitted to fly with us for her continued refusal to comply with employee instruction regarding the current mask policy," spokesman Tim Thompson said by email.

Have fun getting to work, asshole.

And she did, reportedly! The Anchorage Daily News explains that Reinbold "drove more than 700 miles from her home in Eagle River through a swath of Alaska and part of the Yukon to the Southeast town of Haines, where she caught a five-hour ferry ride to Juneau." That's right, she literally had to drive through Canada and then take a five-hour boat ride. It took 14 hours when all was said and done. All because she's a stupid asshole.

Of course, like a cartoon dipshit, she's pulling the whole "I MEANT to do that!" card, braggin' about how fun ferries are and bellyaching about the "monopoly in air transport." Also she ruined her husband's birthday.

We'll see how fun that 14-hour Yukon expedition and ferry ride is in a few weeks, depending on how long this MENSA-ready brain wizard is banned from Alaskan airspace.

Reinbold is also complaining on the internet, in a public post, about how Alaska Airlines gave her name to the media, we guess by confirming that her poor behavior resulted in this ban.

Here are some videos of Reinbold at the Juneau airport being an asshole to flight staff a few days back. This is what apparently got her cancel cultured from airplanes:

Back in November, Reinbold got on the internet and complained that airline staff are "mask bullies" who did "mask tyranny" to her. She said she got in trouble because a "scaredy cat Karen" (LOL heal thyself, asshole) decided to be a "Tattle tail" (really) who got her in big trouble. In another post, she gave hot tips for how to evade requirements for showing a recent COVID test, saying you should "sneak by if you are bold fir they cannot force you" [sic].

After she was a total fucking dick that time, Reinbold reportedly sent some flight staff a cake that said "I'm sorry if I offended you."

Look at this stupid goddamn cake.

This woman is not smart. Also a total dick.

In other words, she's a typical Republican elected official.

The end.

[Anchorage Daily News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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