Alex Jones Pulls Video Urging Fans To Investigate 'Pizzagate' After Fan 'Investigated' It With A Gun


Still no Trump cabinet announcement? He was robbed!

That Alex Jones is such a brave crusader for truth -- as you know, he's at war with Facebook to protect purveyors of fake news, and he's also not going to stand by quietly while the world elites carry out their plan to replace humanity with an army of cyborgs, either. So for a guy who lives to get the truth out there, regardless of the consequences, it seems rather odd that Jones has also quietly removed videos from his website in which he called on his Marching Moron Militia to investigate for themselves whether they could see something nasty in the woodshed at the Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington DC, the supposed center of Hillary Clinton and John Podesta's child sex trafficking ring, of course. Don't suppose that could have anything to do with the Alex Jones fan who showed up at Comet Ping Pong with a gun a couple weeks back, could it?

Media Matters notes that on November 27, Jones spent about a half hour of his internet creepshow ranting about "Pizzagate" and telling his audience they would "have to go investigate it for yourself," because, obviously enough, with all of the hoopla about #pizzagate out there on the internets, it was obvious that "Something’s going on. Something’s being covered up. It needs to be investigated.” Here's a sample:

Now I want to be clear. Not everybody in the WikiLeaks is involved in this. Clearly. You have to go investigate it for yourself. But I will warn you, this story that’s been the biggest thing on the internet for several weeks, Pizzagate as it’s called, is a rabbit hole that is horrifying to go down


Let’s go ahead and go to the report, Pizzagate Is Real. The question is: How real is it? What is it? Something’s going on. Something’s being covered up. It needs to be investigated. To just call it fake news -- these are real WikiLeaks. This is real stuff going on.

It's Alex Jones in full-on batshit crazy mode, insisting he's not exactly "accusing" anyone, then flying off into all sorts of nonsense about how the pizzeria just happens to display well-known secret codes known to all pedophiles, according to an alleged FBI document -- and if you're keeping track, this is arguably the first time Alex Jones has ever believed anything supposedly from the FBI. He insists there are "thousands and thousands and thousands" of references to the supposed sex ring in the Wikileaks trove, including maybe messages like "Oh, I'll see you at the Feast tonight, we'll have lots of blood and semen, Oh good!" You know, not that he's accusing anyone, because that would be "lawsuit city." Instead, he urged his viewers, "It's up to you to research it for yourself."

Included within the video is another video called "Pizzagate Is Real: Something Is Going On, But What?” with all the usual nonsense claiming members of the Clinton sex ring were “using a code to communicate child sex trafficking as casually as ordering a pizza.” You know, like Democrats do. Makes perfect sense, if your idea of investigative reporting is Scooby Doo (joke stoled from Wonkette alum Dave Weigel). But wait! There's more!

Jones also suggested that he himself would be “getting on a plane” to visit Comet Ping Pong. He stated: “I couldn’t sleep last night and you know, people may look into it. I may take off a week and just only research this and actually go to where these places are and stuff. In fact I’m looking at getting on a plane -- it’s just like Bohemian Grove and stuff, I can’t just say something and not see it for myself. They go to these pizza places, there’s like satanic art everywhere.”

Later in the program, Jones backtracked and said that he “can’t go out there and investigate it myself. We’ve had reporters on that have been there. They say it’s really creepy because -- I don’t have the self-control to be around these type of people. So you want us to cover pizzagate, we have covered it. We are covering it. And all I know is God help us, we’re in the hands of pure evil.”

Huh! Well, we can see why that sort of thing might motivate a person who cares about "the children," doesn't have a hell of a lot of critical thinking skills, and has him a great big many gun to go on a personal reconnaissance mission to find out what was really going on at Comet ping Pong, because what sort of decent person would stand by and let "pure evil" do all that terrible stuff to the nonexistent little kids who are surely being kidnapped by the hundreds by this pedophile sex ring? Oh, sure, this would be the first missing-children case ever in which hundreds (or at least scores) of kids were abducted without any parents noticing, or police issuing Amber Alerts, but maybe that just proves how powerful the sex ring cabal was. You might remember the same problem with the "Satanic panic" of the 1980s -- somehow all those Satanists were abducting and murdering babies without a corresponding spike in actual crime reports of missing children.

In any case, after Edgar Maddison Welch went on his personal fact-finding visit to Comet Ping Pong, Jones has been removing a whole bunch of "Pizzagate" stuff from his website and from his YouTube channel, almost as if he were having second thoughts about the wisdom of promoting this particular pile of crazy. Jones fans have re-loaded copies, even while Jones has backed away from the story for some reason. Jones has even insisted that he was really not all that big on Pizzagate as a thing, posting a video in which he "claimed that he actually said there’s 'probably nothing going on there' and his lawyers reviewed his coverage and found that he’s been the 'most restrained of all the coverage' in the alternative media."

Needless to say, in the new video, he explains that the whole pizzagate story was a false flag operation to make Alex Jones look bad, and then to BAN FREE SPEECH by setting him up to cover it. Those devious bastards! He even says he predicted that his enemies, who are everywhere, were “probably going to shoot that place up or something,” and just looked what happened! So now we know who the real victim is: Alex Jones, not the terrified pizza parlor employees who had a semiautomatic rifle shoved in their faces. Thank god Jones has somehow survived this latest assault on his ability to keep bringing us the TRUTH, which is out there. Very, very Out There.

[Media Matters]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

Keep reading... Show less
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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.


Martin apparently bought the gun after successfully applying for an Illinois state Firearms ID. That license was revoked after he applied for a concealed carry license and was rejected due to his prior felony conviction in Mississippi, but no one bothered to see if he still had a gun.

Via USA Today:

"During the fingerprinting and background process it was discovered that he had a felony conviction for aggravated assault out of Mississippi," [Police Chief Kristen] Ziman said. "It should be noted that this conviction would not have shown up on a criminal background check conducted for an FOID card."

That seems like it might be a problem, no?

It has also since been revealed that Martin had a domestic battery arrest in 2008 in Aurora.


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