All Legitimate Living Former Presidents Tell America To GET STICKED, With The COVID Vaccine!

Donald Trump is now issuing tweets on official letterhead. It is very depressing and pitiful, but the good news is this is clearly happening because he thinks nobody besides criminal prosecutors remembers him anymore.


"I hope everyone [SOB!] remembers when they're getting the COVID-19 (often referred to as the [RACIST SOB!] China Virus) Vaccine, that if I wasn't President, you wouldn't be getting that beautiful "shot" for 5 years, at best, and probably wouldn't be getting at it all. I hope everyone remembers! [SOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBB!]

Pathetic. As if Pfizer and Moderna and Johnson & Johnson somehow relied on his racist expertise and racist pep talks to decide to study COVID-19 and make vaccines for it. As if he ever made anything better in his entire garbage life. And of course, the ever-increasing speed of the vaccine roll-out is happening precisely because we have a real president who spent his first 50 days in office fucking doing something, instead of crying and live-tweeting "Fox & Friends." Indeed, when the Biden administration got there, they were all stunned that the Trump administration had left them with nofuckingplan to get vaccines in arms.

That's enough whining, but we think we know why Lonely McGrumpsalot is bitching and moaning.

You see, all living legitimate former presidents — Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama — got together to make some really good Ad Council videos encouraging people to get the coronavirus vaccine. The campaign is called "It's Up To You," and no, they do not mean that if you think vaccines are made of autism, Bill Gates's 5G sperm, and unborn baby arms, then it's up to you to decide not to get it like some kind of stinky moron. When they say "it's up to you," what they mean is that America and the world need you to get your vaccine, so we can all together protect each other from this damn virus. Ask not what your country can do for you, etc.

You know, presidential shit.

In this first video, we get to see pictures of all the legitimate former presidents and also the former first ladies getting stuck with needles — Barack Obama sexxx bicep alert! — unlike Trump and Melania, who got their vaccines by themselves in the dark, where nobody would see, which is really shithole behavior from them considering how many of the conspiracy theorist morons who love them are also conspiracy theorist morons about the vaccine. If they'd asked Trump to drink flaming hydroxy-boner-bleach on TV, he probably would have done that. But not this. (We doubt they asked him. What would be the purpose?)

The presidents also all talk about the things they want to do when things are normal again. Bill Clinton says he would like to go back to work and "move around." Barack Obama wants to hug Michelle's mom. Dubya wants to go see the Texas Rangers play with a full stadium. Jimmy Carter is not shown saying what he wants to do, maybe his sucked.

In the other video, Bush, Obama, and Clinton are back at Arlington National Cemetery, where they did that nice video for Joe Biden, talking about how vaccines are the bizness.

Axios with some of the copy:

Bush says that "the science is clear: these vaccines will protect you and those you love from this dangerous and deadly disease," with Clinton adding: "They could save your life."

Obama notes that getting vaccinated is "the first step to ending the pandemic and moving our country forward."

So that's all very nice.

And we guess that's why Old Whine-Ass up there is upset. Or maybe he was just having a tough bowel movement and was mad about President Biden getting that badass COVID relief bill passed.

Who gives a care.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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