Vaxxed America Knows Why We Can't Have Nice Things, And It Is Yucky Unvaxxed Stinky People

Vaxxed America Knows Why We Can't Have Nice Things, And It Is Yucky Unvaxxed Stinky People

Before we get to being mean to unvaccinated people who don't plan on getting vaccinated because they're scared of becoming a wireless hotspot, let's start by saying there is a bit of good news to go with the bad. It's just sad we needed all this bad news to create the conditions for a sliver of good.

The latest edition of the Axios-Ipsos Coronavirus Index is out, and it shows that, with all this Delta variant blowing into everybody's bodies, and filling emergency rooms and morgues with (mostly) unvaccinated people, the rates of people who insist on staying unvaccinated are actually finally going down a little tiny bit. Even if they have to dress up like Bozo the Clown to get their vaccine in southern Missouri so nobody will notice them. (Might as well just mail them the vaccines in discreet packaging so all their neighbors will just assume it's their weekly dildo delivery.)

To put some numbers on it, the poll says 77 percent of Americans are either vaccinated or are going to be. (This week, according to CDC, the US finally has hit Joe Biden's goal of 70 percent of the population having at least one shot.) That 77 number is up a tiny from 75 percent, but the poll also says true resisters are down to 15 percent. Meanwhile, only 25 percent of parents are a definite no when it comes to taking their kids to get their damn shots. That's down from 29 percent a few weeks ago.

So that's all good, if by "good" we mean that we are clinging to any shred of halfway decent news and calling it "good." Maybe if a couple hundred thousand more Americans die, we can shave off another couple percent!

Also the survey says that "vaccinated America blames the unvaccinated for the Delta surge," while "unvaccinated America blames everyone else." Indeed, 79 percent of vaccinated Americans are pointing their fingers at the unvaccinated and saying "PEE YEW STINKY GROSS SMELLERS" and holding their breath when they walk by. This is the right thing to say and do. (Vaccinated folks also blame Donald Trump and conservative media. Correct answers, all.)

The stinky unvaccinated, of course, blame everyone but themselves, because they are too immature to take responsibility for their own actions. They say it is foreigners' fault and Joe Biden's fault and the mainstream media's fault and everybody else's fault not their fault. They are very bad at party of personal responsibility and bootstraps!

Finally, the survey says the percentage of people being more careful again is going back up, people masking up and staying home and social distancing, and that this the first time those numbers have tracked this way since spring. Of course, there is one caveat, and it is the caveat you expected, which is that people's behavioral choices continue to strongly correlate with whether they were smart enough to get their damned shots in the first place:

However, most of this concern and these protective measures are concentrated among the vaccinated indicating behavior changes will have minimal impact on the outbreak among the unvaccinated.

Vaccinated America yet again thanks the rest of you assholes for your shitty behavior, which continues to be more likely to kill you than us.

Flawless victories in owning the libs all around, guys. Oh hey y'all hear Lindsey Graham has a breakthrough COVID case? Yeah he says get your damn shots.

This has been a "good news" post about coronavirus vaccines haha LOL.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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