America: Where Gold Flows Like Sierra Mist


The paranoid-chalkboard set of America just can't get enough gold bars because of the looming installation of the Amero. Luckily some enterprising German capitalists are installing gold vending machines all over our great nation for teabaggers to drool all over as they spend all their investment capital (lottery tickets) on beautiful hunks of financial security.

A German firm that installs and manages gold vending machines aims to introduce them into the United States this year as it expands rapidly to take advantage of demand for bullion in times of economic uncertainty.


"This year we will issue around 35 machines, and for next year we are looking for bigger numbers," Geissler said on Monday, standing in front of one of the ATMS, which was colored and shaped like a giant gold ingot close to 2 meters tall.


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