American Hero Heads To Prison For Threatening To Kill Muslims Because Fox News Told Him To

To be sure, the gay bears tend not to be too overt at mosques

A man in La Mesa, California, was sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty last year to leaving voicemails threatening to shoot employees of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). He has a really good excuse, though: the Fox News made him do it.

In case you've forgotten about CAIR, its the organization that gets trotted out any time any Muslim so much as gives someone a mean look on the freeway to make a public statement along the lines of "Hi yes we are Muslims please don't hate us we are very nice we promise OK thank you." To this statement, a depressingly large slice of America will invariably respond, "THAT'S JUST WHAT AN ISIS WOULD SAY BEFORE THEY ALLAHU'D ALL UP IN OUR AKBAR!"

John David Weissenger was one such American, and his threats were an indirect result of the Charlie Hebdo attack. Remember? That was the one where the satirical French magazine was shot up by extremists for disrespectful imagery of the prophet Mohammed? Fox News probably remembers, since they spent a fucking week constantly talking about how all the SCARY CHARLIE HEBDO-ING ISISES were going to come take regular Americans' guns and force them all to get gay-married to Mohammed while abolishing capitalism or ... something, we think? Everything Fox News says is pretty much word salad.

It turns out said word salad gave Weissenger indigestion. He pled guilty last year to allegations of a hate crime, making a criminal threat, and possession of an illegal assault rifle. This week, he was sentenced to a year in prison for his crimes. In his defense, his lawyer, Michael Malowney, said the threats were brought on by depression and anxiety exacerbated by drunkery (what the hell does Weissenger think he is, some common Palin?) and watching an entire week of Fox News coverage of the Charlie Hebdo attack.

We at Wonkette know all too well the dangers of watching too much Fox News coverage. In the wake of the San Bernardino attacks, yr Executive Editor Kaili Joy Gray watched something like 25 hours of Fox News over the course of three days, and by the end of it, her hair had mysteriously turned platinum blonde and she was shouting something about how anchor babies were going to commit black-on-black socialism. We had to let her detox by watching Ellen for like an entire day.

So it turns out there are consequences for extremist Fox News rhetoric. We know whipping people up into a frenzy is great for Fox's ratings, but ultimately, dumb drunk motherfuckers like Weissenger are so susceptible to the newsarrhea Fox loves to spout that they go out and commit actual crimes.

Sure, Donald Trump is popular right now, for his promises to Make America Great Again by building a yooge classy gold-plated anti-illegals wall and his complete lack of even the most cursory understanding of the Constitution. But here's a hot tip: making violent threats against people or organizations is still illegal. So don't do that thing. Even if Fox News wink-wink-nudge-nudge tells you not to.



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