'American Spring' Coup Huge Success, Obama To Resign Any Minute Now, Probably


America, your long national nightmare is almost over! As predicted, tens of millions of protesters have flooded into Washington DC, bringing the city to a halt and trapping the illegal so-called "leaders" of the illegitimate, unconstitutional "government" inside the walls of their marble fortresses -- but only temporarily, as they will surely hear the call of We The People and step down in disgrace.

That's what WND's lede would have read if more than a few hundred teabagger loons had shown up for the big Depose Obama Rally scheduled for Friday. As it was, the brave coup leaders stood around and got rained on for a while before the weather cleared and they marched around some. But Obama still might resign in disgrace, just as soon as the other ten million or so demonstrators arrive later this weekend.

So far, we haven't seen any definitive reports, but Wonkette Operative Princess Sparkle Pony sent along the above photo of a group of demonstrators filling not quite filling the National Mall in front of the Air and Space Museum, which seems like a pretty smart location to protect from drone attacks, since it's a pretty good bet the Out Of Control Federal Government wouldn't risk accidentally blowing up the Wright Flyer. There's also this screengrab of a video from Uncle Sam's Misguided Children (get it? USMC? So EDGY! So fetch!), showing an indeterminate number of people -- we're guessing between 3 and 17 million, it's hard to say -- milling around the Washington Monument.

RightWingWatch blogger Bryan Tashman has been tweeting some other images of the throngs, like this crowd of at least several hundred thousand:

And Tashman did manage to get at least a few photos like this, which if you imagine the crowd extending way out to either side, could very well be millions of people:

After a long day of fighting tyranny, some folks just needed to rest, but among the crowd of tens of millions, there was barely a place where any could find respite.

As of yet, there are no confirmed reports of FEMA vans carrying off vast numbers of protesters, but we did find one plausible explanation for what happened:

And the millions of demonstrators have already forced one member of the tyrannical federal behemoth to resign: Veterans Affairs Undersecretary for Health Dr. Robert Petzel has submitted his resignation, although the state-run lamestream media is reporting that it has more to do with the V.A. hospital scandal than with anything happening on the Mall, because you know that they have to have a cover story ready. Looks like the first rat has deserted the sinking ship, fellow Patriots!

[RawStory / Twitter / NPR]


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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