America's Favorite Congress Troll Gonna Ban Dr. Fauci Or Some Crap

Freed of tedious committee assignments, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has more time to do what the people of Georgia sent her to Washington to do: Tone her glutes.

But when she's finished that, our Margie will have plenty of time left in the day to troll the libs. To wit, that genius is introducing two pieces of VRY SRS legislation today which will totally chap our poor, tender, liberal hides. First up is the Fire Fauci Act to "slash the salary of Dr. Always Wrong to $0." And you know she means business, because she released the "bill" in the form of a press release without any actual text.

The plan is to dock the doc's pay "until a new NIAID Administrator is confirmed by the Senate." Which would be ... never, since NIAID administrator is not a Senate-confirmed position. But never mind, because this "bill" demands that the GAO "conduct a study" to find out "what Fauci and the NIAID knew, when they knew it, what they spent money on, and how the agency responded to the virus."

Then this tireless warrior went on Steve Bannon's podcast to explain how evil Dr. Fauci forced Donald Trump to ruin America.

"Dr. Fauci has been running our country, and he hasn't been running it, he's been shutting it down with his ever-changing advice," she said indignantly, before launching into a diatribe about the scandal of evolving medical science and the need for annual vaccinations.

"But, Congressman, hang on for a second," interrupted Bannon. "You say he's running the country. He reported to a guy named Donald Trump. Did he run Donald Trump?"

"Donald Trump took his advice. President Trump took his advice at the time. And so, this virus came in — you know, people always talk about President Trump just does everything he wants. President Trump took the advice of the doctor that he was supposed to listen to, and the administration made decisions based on that advice."

Which is ... not how we remember it going down. Pretty sure Tony Fauci wasn't the one forcing the FDA to buy up millions of doses of hydroxychloroquine after Rudy Giuliani found some quack who said it was a miracle drug. And it doesn't really jibe with President Pisspants' off-brand twit rant last week railing against "Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx, two self-promoters trying to reinvent history to cover for their bad instincts and faulty recommendations, which I fortunately almost always overturned."

Anyway! Mad Marge's second super duper serious piece of legislation is called the "We Will Not Comply Act." It will protect the right of unvaccinated people to sit next to you on an airplane, breathe all over your mom at the movies, sneeze on your kid during gym class, and serve you dinner next time you feel safe going to a restaurant.

"Passports, thinking that we have to actually have a permission slip from Dr. Fauci, with his COVID passports, vaccine passports!" Greene railed. "This very idea that's been thrown around that gives us permission to buy and sell, gives us permission to travel, to go to big events likes baseball games, concerts, maybe eventually to enroll our children in school, or to participate in the marketplace is a terrifying idea to most Americans."

As usual, BITCH IS LYIN'. The federal government isn't imposing a vaccine requirement on anyone, much less requiring a permission slip for entry. The goal is to regularize competing vaccine verification platforms to make the marketplace run efficiently. That way Americans who go to doctors instead of Cross Fit studios for their health information will feel safe enough to crowd back into stadiums to watch baseball and see live music. And we don't know where Greene's three kids go to school, but the state of Georgia already requires vaccinations for them.

Then Margie splained to Steve Bannon her theory of "corporate communism."

Oh, you thought we made that up? Your Wonkette is funny, but not that funny.

"The people in this country have all the power. Not the federal government, not your state and local government. It is the people," she exclaimed. "You have the power, because you are paying the taxes. And so this is what the American people need to remember, and everyone seems to have forgotten."

She did not explain how this ties into her thesis that it's illegal cancel culture for Delta and Coca Cola to bow to customer pressure and condemn Georgia's new voting laws. But Steve Bannon, who's clearly been too scared to get a haircut for a year but makes money flogging nonsense about coronavirus, seemed unbothered by this logical inconsistency.

In summary and in conclusion, Republicans have no interest in governing; when it comes to Congress, they're really not sending their best; and President Biden should ignore any and all bad faith attempts by these nihilist trolls to slow down his agenda with fake policy negotiations.

This is who they are, and we need to stop pretending otherwise.

[Bannon Podcast]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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