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An American Holiday Classic: Bye Bye, Baby Jesus

News

This is not actually a Holiday Classic, but because nothing on the Internet can be trusted, that's the title we're giving to this old thing we found, which was written by your editor back when he was toiling for UPI at the shabby headquarters behind the White House, back when Bill Clinton was still officially president.


It's about the Baby Jesus! And it's a bunch of immature crap, but whatever:

In Charleston, West Virginia, and Tacoma, Washington, it was the same pathetic story. Somebody grabbed the baby and the town went berserk. "Why," they ask, "why oh why?"

Why? Because as long as there are people who worship a piece of baby-shaped factory-made junk with a hole in its ass for the lightbulb, there will be people waiting to take it away.

There is nothing as seductive and cheaply rewarding as the callous theft of a plastic baby Jesus from an outdoor nativity scene. Maybe those without spiritual training don't see the fun of snatching Christianity's most sacred icon of innocence and grace, but the Jesus freaks certainly see the horror -- and that's what really counts.

Thanks to Mat Honan for continuing to maintain the old GettingIt archives. There's only one place on the Internet where you can read Andrei Codrescu and R.U. Sirius and Annalee Newitz and Paul Krassner and Mark Frauenfelder and Robert Anton Wilson and your editor in the same place. What a weird thing that was .... [Getting It]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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