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Here Is Your Nuclear Holocaust News Roundup

News

It's been an exciting week of "news," what with Donald Trump releasing his long-form draft card -- which proves that Obama never went to Harvard -- and blah blah blah. Good grief, we almost forgot that Japan's crippled nuclear reactors arestill leaking all kinds of unspeakable horrors! Even the lamestream media acknowledges that awful things such as plutonium 239 (a scary-ass isotope with a half life of 24,000 years) have been detected in places where they definitely shouldn't be. How long do Royal Marriages last? Fifteen years, tops? Oh well. We'll all be inbred mutants in ten years, anyway.


Here is your terrible & recent Nuclear Apocalypse News, listed in no particular order:

  • "A special adviser to the Japanese government on radiation safety resigned Friday, saying that he was dissatisfied with the handling of the ongoing crisis at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant." [WSJ]

  • "Two robots sent into the reactor No. 1 building at the plant yesterday took readings as high as 1,120 millisierverts of radiation per hour, Junichi Matsumoto, a general manager at Tokyo Electric Power Co., said today. That’s more than four times the annual dose permitted to nuclear workers at the stricken plant." [Bloomberg]

  • "Residents told to evacuate the area around Japan's damaged nuclear power plant are having difficulty finding movers willing to relocate them, officials said." [UPI]

  • "We have a dozen Fukushimas waiting to happen in America." [Rolling Stone]

And finally: Here is famous anti-nuclear proliferation activist and physician Helen Caldicott talking about our happy-times future (massive nuclear fallout and lots of cancer for everybody). Is she just trying to frighten us, for fun? Maybe. After all, if Caldicott is a legitimate source, why doesn't she have breaking news about Justin Bieber's new hairdo, like the CNN Political Ticker does?

Have a nice weekend!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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We feel like we say this a lot during these dark days of the Trump era, but WHAT IN THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DID WE JUST WATCH? And how in the hell can anyone who claims to give a shit about this country be OK with the public tongue-bath Donald Trump just gave Vladimir Putin on live TV?

The reviews are starting to roll in:

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