Angry Teabaggers To March Around With Guns All Day Today, What Could Go Wrong?
A post from your comrade Gary Legum. Since the brave patriots of the Tea Party are all that stands between Commandant Obama and our right to own the thirty-round clips that make shooting up classrooms full of unarmed kindergarteners so much more efficient, today has been designated a “Day of Resistance” to President Obama’s gun-control push. Because putting together a list of action items regarding gun control and then suggesting the democratically elected national legislature consider working on some of them is exactly the sort of thing that Hitler would have done.
Of course unlike the students protesting the Vietnam War back in 1968 during the original Days of Resistance, today's fun times will last only one day because, geez, do you really expect these freedom warriors to spend 10 entire days sitting outside and chanting like a bunch of goddamn common hippies? Besides, they need to lay in their supplies of fried food and high-fructose corn syrup before firing up the flat screens to watch the Daytona 500 on Sunday.
There are 100 or so rallies planned around the country. Organizers expect 50,000 people to attend. In Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, a state that seems confused about whether it has an open-carry law or not, the Day of Resistance will consist of an “Open-Carry Walk,” which is exactly what it sounds like. Namely, patriots will march along the streets of Norristown, PA while fondling their various shotguns and AR-15s and whatnot. A bunch of riled-up gun owners marching through the streets and brandishing weaponry? What could possibly go wrong?
The “Day of Resistance” is the brainchild of one Dustin Stockton, a Tea Party bro who recently told boy genius reporter Matthew Boyle he picked the date of 2/23 because .223 is the caliber of the ammunition used in an AR-15. So there’s that. Stockton says he’s being “ruthlessly abused” for this clever little play on dates. Poor guy! Having his fee-fees hurt on the Twitter just because he’s standing up for his civil rights! Maybe after the rallies he and John Lewis can get together and compare battle scars.