WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it's time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week's top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband's charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of "Mitt's posse." Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an "Obamaphone."
So now, before we get to the week's top stories, it's time for us to say "please to be giving us the moneys," because we work our fingers to the bone making you laugh, while also informing you of all the important stories you need to know about. And it takes money to do that! So what do you say you give us $5, in honor of JOURNALISM? It's easy to do! Just click this link and say "here are five of my dollars, Wonkette should have them, because Wonkette actually takes the time to make sure they report things good and right, and then they put dick jokes on top! Or you can give us money for a different reason, of your choosing, that's allowed.
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All right, here are your top ten posts of the week, most of which were written by our Kaili, WHY YOU ALL GOTTA PLAY FAVORITES, YO:
1. Here is that dumb Duggar spawn, and her dumb husband, explaining how they learned that Creation Science means that atheists don't exist.
2. And here is an asshole who hates Obamacare, who really wishes Obama would pay his medical bills, now that he needs it.
3. Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn just KNOWS that all the Christians in America are being holocausted, but she can't seem to come up with any examples.
4. Dear White People: If you haven't heard yet, you are going to just LOVE Disney's new white "African" princess!
5. Who made that Amtrak train crash? Gays made that Amtrak train crash.
6. Surprise, a "Family Values Republican" got caught sexting with a young intern lady. He, of course, resigned, to spend more time with his sexting.
7. The city of Austin, down in Texas-land, is very sorry for hiring a team of "experts" to teach everybody how lady leaders are different from normal, penis-having leaders.
8. The nanny state liberals in Kentucky won't let this one "off the grid" couple raise their 10 children in filth and garbage. They are so mean!
9. Somebody shot George Zimmerman, and we knew it would be irresponsible if we, as journalists, did not speculate as to why.
10. And finally, here is a heroic North Carolina county official, and he's going to let you know that he is not about to let any Ay-rabs come in and do prayers to Allah, or whoever the hell it is those Muslims pray to.
Those were some nice stories!
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Okay, now go have a nice Sunday, and if you see Ann Romney in a dark alley, RUN.
You're thinking of Big Jim Slade
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