Announcing The Wonkommittee, Which Is A Really Bad Name, Anyway, We Need You To Help Us Hire Some People
Hey fuckers. You may think that just because you "read our blog" and "send us money" and maybe "make the funny in the comments" that your work here is done.
INCORRECT. Your work here is just beginning.
Many of you, you CLAIM, are computery techish elvish folk, by which we mean NERDS. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to convene yourselves into a hiring committee -- form of ... an ice abacus! shape of ... a badger! -- and ask some computer redesigny developer types the kinds of probing questions we do not know how to think up, to figure out whether or not we should hire them to redesign and rebuild this here mommyblog recipe hub and our sister site, CattyBitches.com.
For instance, you could ask them, "Do you know how to stuff 20,000 pounds of wordpress into a five-pound bag?" Like, we ask them that, and they cleverly answer "yes," and so WE BELIEVE THEM. This is why we are not a Investigative Reporter. We always believe people when they lie! You, the wonkommittee, would know how to actually follow that question up!
But whyfor do we want to rebuild and redesign your Wonket? We know, you HATE CHANGE. But you also hate how this site has been performing ever since we filled it with so much nonsense (MUNEEZ) we are pretty sure we found a dead cat skeleton underneath a pile of rotting banner ads. Also, we still haven't figured out who is diverting our pageviews to the Google Play Candy Crush Asian Hotties Dick Pills Emporium. Maybe the lucky winner of your hiring process could figure that out for us, while they are fixing this mishigoss, and also maybe they could make CattyBitches stop crashing FOR EVER. Could you ask them if they know how to fix that please?
If you would like to be on the wonkommittee, your first order of business will be to come up with a better name than "wonkommittee." If you have never been approved as a commenter, but would like to give your widows' mite, you may email us at rebecca at wonkette dot com, and we shall put you in touch with whosoever appoints herself jury foreman.
NOW GET THE FUCK TO WORK.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.