Investigations are MAKE ERIC MAD

We are all waiting waiting waiting for something fun to happen, for the feds or the district attorney in Atlanta to arrest members of Donald Trump's organization or others of his high-level associates. At this point, it seems almost too hopeful to think somebody might grow the balls to arrest Trump himself for any of the obvious crimes he's always committing in our face. And it's kind of weird, quite frankly, that we got more perp walks of Trump criminals in the days of Donald Trump's Justice Department than we have under Joe Biden's Justice Department, at least so far.

But maybe it's just the calm before the storm. Maybe.

Regardless, the New York Times is reporting that another district attorney's office is leading a criminal investigation into the Trump Organization. This time it's Westchester County, New York, DA Mimi Rocah — yes, you've seen her on MSNBC as a legal commentator — and surprise, it's about whether the Trump Organization has lied about the value of another Trump property in order to hide from taxes. So that's familiar territory, if you've been following the Manhattan investigations, which are reportedly chugging along.


Here's the Times:

In recent months, the district attorney's office in suburban Westchester County, N.Y., has subpoenaed records from [...] Trump National Golf Club Westchester, and the town of Ossining, which sets property taxes on the course, a sprawling private club that is perched on a hill north of New York City and boasts a 101-foot waterfall.

The full scope of the investigation could not be determined, but the district attorney, Mimi E. Rocah, appears to be focused at least in part on whether Mr. Trump's company, the Trump Organization, misled local officials about the property's value to reduce its taxes, one of the people said.

The Times offers all the usual disclaimers about nobody has been accused of anything wrong and nobody knows if charges are coming and yadda yadda.

Down there in Manhattan, longtime Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg has been indicted, and we haven't gotten an update lately on whether he's being a pain in the ass or whether he's decided to be helpful. If he wanted to be an American hero he'd just spill everything he knows and give us the Trump family perp walk of our dreams. Regardless, we've had updates on how that investigation might be getting closer to other Trumpland figures, like Matthew Calamari and other people who may or may not be named after Red Lobster appetizers. (We hear Joey Cheddar Bay Biscuits is a real bad guy.)

And of course, as we mentioned, Fulton County, Georgia, DA Fani Willis has been investigating Trump and pals for their attempts to pressure Georgia officials into overthrowing democracy because Trump is a wannabe tyrant and his feelings were hurt because he's such a gargantuan loser. That investigation has been SHHHHHHHHH QUIET and we have read that that's by design.

And now there's Westchester County. As the Times notes, Mimi Rocah is a veteran of the Southern District of New York (SDNY), and after that, she went to MSNBC. The lead investigator on the case is another guy who was an SDNY prosecutor forfuckingever. So we can be sure that Trump is composing his grammatically incoherent WITCH HUNT statements right now. Make three wanking motions if you care.

Our point here is can somebody please give us a goddamn perp walk please please please? The feds raided all of Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska's American dachas yesterday, and we don't know why, but that would be fine. Or Rudy Giuliani? How all those investigations coming? Anybody need any help?

It is way the fuck past time for these lawless assholes to start facing some accountability, and that is pretty much all we have to say about that.

[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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