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You know how vaccinations give your kids overnight mental retardation and turn your daughters into whores and sometimes even kill them? No, you don't, because none of that is true.


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But some place on the interwebs called Health Impact News, which claims to cover "stories that impact your health, but that the mainstream media seldom covers" -- like how vaccines are not as safe for you as THEY want you to think, but Virgin Coconut Oil is a great treatment for Alzheimer's -- has this breathless report of "one more dead girl" whose foolish mother did not subscribe to the Health Impact News newsletter before it was too late. It's a top story, in fact the top story, at Health Impact News "this Week":

The sudden death of a 12-year-old girl in Waukesha, Wisconsin, just hours after receiving the HPV Gardasil vaccine has shocked the girl’s family, and sent local media out asking questions as to how this could happen. Here is a report from WISN 12 News.

Click that link to the report if you want to give your fingers some exercise, but the "content is no longer available," maybe because the top story "this Week" about how scary vaccines will kill your daughters was published on August 11, 2014, before the medical examiner had a chance to complete her autopsy of 12-year-old Meredith Prohaska.

Guess what we learned BACK IN OCTOBER:

A much-touted vaccine given to teens and preteens to prevent cancers caused by a sexually transmitted virus did not cause or contribute to the death of a 12-year-old Waukesha girl whose mother found her unresponsive in their home on July 30, the Waukesha County medical examiner said.

Diphenhydramine intoxication — ingestion of a lethal level of an antihistamine — caused the death of Meredith Prohaska, though the manner of death is undetermined, Medical Examiner Lynda Biedrzycki said in a prepared statement.

"There is no evidence that any vaccination caused or contributed to her death," Biedrzycki said.

That didn't compel Health Impact News to update or change its breathless story, though, which insisted that some schmuck "doctor" from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had claimed death by vaccine is "very rare and about 1 out of a million." But what does he know?

Assuming that there is some data to back up the claim of only “1 out of a million,” how many doses of the HPV vaccine are administered every year? According to the latest statistics (July 2014) published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services here (page 7), over 9 million per year. So the government admits that at least 9 girls per year are killed by the HPV vaccine.

Of course, only an idiot would assume "there is some data" to back up claims made by the sketchy and untrustworthy Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which is always telling lies about vaccines and disease, which of course the lazy or possibly nefarious mainstream media further perpetuates:

These local news media, possibly covering the HPV vaccine for the first time, were all quick to interview and provide links to the official CDC view of the vaccine. But here are some other facts regarding the vaccine that they failed to disclose, probably because they did not take the time to look outside of the standard government response to events like this, or their station managers did not allow them to give any other news outside of what the CDC claims.

Instead of deleting or correcting its story, Health Impact News is still featuring it on its front page, along with this "recent news" story, published March 4, 2015, that does not specifically reference the blatantly debunked story about how Meredith Prohaska died, but it uses lots of science-y words and even some graphs to explain how "every time a vaccine injured person eats certain foods there is the potential for a chronic anaphylactic histamine reaction from mild to severe."

So if you want to put together some of the information currently available on Health Impact News's website, you could conclude that 12-year-old Meredith was a "vaccine injured person" who ate the wrong kinds of foods, which led to her death, so sure, she was killed by a vaccine after all!

Is the author of this amazing scientific discovery a scientist of any kind? Not exactly:

Cynthia Janak is a freelance journalist, mother of three, foster mother of one, grandmother of five, business owner, Chamber of Commerce member. Her expertise is as an administrative professional. Her specialties are adoptee and genealogy research and research journalism.

Plus, she notes, all of her science-y information "has been extracted from peer reviewed studies and articles." So you have no reason to question her "shocking" report. Plus, if you're one of those parents who has "meditated on it a lot" and decided to question all of the indisputable long-standing science that you should absolutely vaccinate your children, Health Impact News also provides plenty more non-CDC information to help you "do your own research."

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Or you could decide to not be an idiot and listen to the real medical experts -- like Dr. Anne Schuchat, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, who testified before the Senate HELP committee in February.

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Dr. Schuchat assured Sen. Elizabeth Warren and the rest of America that no, none of the rumors about vaccines are true; yes, they are perfectly safe and you should absolutely definitely vaccinate your children if you actually want to protect them from real things that can kill them; and good god, people, stop being idiots, stop arguing, and just vaccinate your kids.

[Health Impact News/Journal Sentinel]

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