Area Woman Still Can't Stop Thinking About Sandra Fluke's 'Totalitarian' Vagina


You probably remember Sandra Fluke. She's the nice young lady who testified to Congress about how birth control is sometimes used by people to regulate their polycystic ovary syndrome or whatever, and so Rush Limbaugh went fucking nuts, calling her a slut (for a week) and saying if he was going to pay for her birth control (we guess Rush Limbaugh does not really understand how insurance works?), she had a duty to produce a spank tape for him. It wasnot Rush Limbaugh's finest hour.

Well, now there is a lady, and she is a licensed clinical psychologist, although -- oddly! -- her website does not list any of her training or her schooling or her specialties except that she will psychologize your kids, which you should probably hop on, and can testify about forensic clinical psychologist stuff in four states, and those four states really might want to look into that, because this lady, well, she is a treat! She thinks Gloria Steinem is making Illuminati hand signs everywhere, and that Nancy Pelosi is here to murder all the grandbabies (that one is just obvious), and oh, so many thoughts about Sandra Fluke's "All-American, Totalitarian" vagina. Still.

Deborah C. Tyler, Ph.D., writing in American "Thinker," begins with a tale of a man who kept seeing so many vadges in a Rorschach test -- as you do. Dr. Tyler, with no irony at all, declares this man obsessed, and decides that Sandra Fluke, not she, is obsessed with the vadge, because of how Fluke studied feminism in college and ... Gloria Steinem? Some stuff. Get ready. So much blockquote comin' at ya.

Sexually oriented feminists can be divided into two generations. The central purpose of the first generation was to legalize abortion and normalize sex outside marriage. Gloria Steinem is still the leader of that generation. She, who is often seen flashing her hand signal for her vagina, like any gang-banger, is still the leading political sex fashionista of her generation.

Today, Sandra Fluke is a foremost publicity hound of the second generation of sex-feminists, the socialist ideological totalitarians. [...] Their cause is to make taxpayers foot the bill for all abortions, abortifacients, and sexually related treatments. The want to functionally criminalize Christianity through the tax code. To consolidate political power under the banner of sex ideology, as Fluke has been trying to do, it is necessary to tell the lie that access to contraception or abortion is difficult. Psychopathology flourishes in delusions of victimization.

We're just going to pull out a couple of phrases at random: "The [sic] want to functionally criminalize Christianity through the tax code." "Psychopathology flourishes in delusions of victimization." What next, Dr. Tyler? Gonna laugh at some gay kids getting beat up? Awesome.

Fluke majored in feminist, gender and sexuality studies at Cornell University. She then took those self-serving, lethal delusions to the New York Statewide Coalition for Fair Access to Family Court. Again defining people according to sexual behavior, she focused on the right for New York State’s presumptively homosexual teenagers to have special access to domestic violence civil orders. New York State’s millions of teens are not suffering primarily because there may be a micro-minority of homosexual teenagers needing restraining orders. They are suffering psychologically because most have no fathers to raise them, they are bombarded with dehumanizing stimuli from birth, and they are influenced by people like Fluke to start fornicating for the run-up to junior high.

If Sandra Fluke would stop telling elementary school kids to have rainbow parties while they scarf down ella for kicks, maybe homosexuals wouldn't need "special" access to domestic violence restraining orders! Why won't Sandra Fluke stop beating up homosexual children?

Then Dr. Tyler calls Sandra Fluke "mentally imbalance[d]" because she used the word "absolutely" in a statement. This woman testifies about people's mental health in court. Then there is some stuff about Thomas Paine.

Then Dr. Tyler says Sandra Fluke has a "diagnosable mental illness" because Fluke said contraception could cost $3000 over the course of law school, when you could buy "500,000 condoms" for the amount these women are spending on law school. (Obviously, condoms will fix your polycystic oves right up. Also obviously, WHY WOULD A LADY NEED TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL hahaha lol dumb ladies, go get married already.)

There is a simple way to distinguish between valuable rights like those granted by the Bill of Rights and the “rights” offered by totalitarians. The former are blessedly useful to every citizen; the latter are inflicted by governmental rulers who have no use for them themselves. Women like Nancy Pelosi and Sandra Fluke are despicable because they maneuver to inflict humiliation and sorrow upon “the masses,” which they themselves will never have to suffer. The miserable Pelosi, the mother of five and grandmother of eight, enables the destruction of other women’s children and grandchildren. Fluke, a married heterosexual, sets herself up as the emancipator of homosexual people, and showboats for publicly funded birth control she will never need. Predictably, Fluke mentally decompensated when the Supreme Court ruling in the Hobby Lobby case contradicted her psychopathological absolutes.

Again, this woman is licensed to testify about people's mental health in four states, "Oregn," Washington, New Mexico, and South Carolina. Somebody should really probably do something about that.

Meanwhile, you can send money to Sandra Fluke's vagina here.

[AmericanThinker via wonket operative "Joy"]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

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Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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