Projector-In-Chief Pretty Sure Doctors Inflating COVID-19 Numbers Just To Get Rich And Famous

Conspiracy Theories

Can Donald Trump go any lower? The answer is always yes. President Limbo Champion held a superspreader event in Waukesha, Wisconsin, his fifth in the state during the campaign. He told the crowd he's confident he'll win Wisconsin, where he's consistently trailed Joe Biden. Hey, the polls were wrong in 2016 (no, they weren't), so they're probably wrong again. Trump is the master of stupid science.

In reality, Joe Biden is more popular than Hillary Clinton was among white male Wisconsin voters, especially those without college degrees. The reasons are both obvious and depressing. There's also no evidence this time of significant third-party defections that'll help Trump limp across the finish line. He's going to have to rely on his impressive record and brilliant political instincts.

Up North News reports on the rally:

"By the way. You have to get out and vote," Trump told the crowd of roughly 3,000 at Waukesha County Airport. "I'm out here — what the hell time is it? And it's freezing. If I don't win this state, I'm going to be very mad at you."

We're gonna miss that charming sadism once Trump's flushed from the White House.

He managed to get even worse. When whining about the pandemic he's tried his best to ignore, Trump repeated his big lie about how we only have coronavirus cases because we test for them. It's the Weeping Angels of diseases. Trump must've blinked. That's how his dumb ass wound up hospitalized.


Trump said it was “foolish" to test so much and grossly suggested that healthcare workers — the heroes risking their lives every day — are deliberately inflating COVID-19 statistics for financial gain. There's as much evidence for this absurd claim as there is brain activity in Trump's head.

TRUMP: Some countries report differently. If somebody's sick with a heart problem and they die of COVID, then they die of a heart problem. Somebody's terminally ill with cancer and they have COVID, we report them. And you know doctors get more money and hospitals get more money, think of this incentive. Some countries do it differently. If somebody's very sick with a bad heart, they die of COVID, they don't get reported as COVID. “Gee, I wonder why their cases are so low?" This country and it's reporting systems really aren't doing it right.

A first-year law student could tell you that if you shoot someone with a “bad heart" or who's “terminally ill with cancer," you are still guilty of homicide. They died because they were shot. Period. At least 220,000 Americans have died from COVID-19, and Trump wants to haggle over how many of them already had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. This is beyond unpresidential. No one in possession of a human soul should talk like this. And our tax dollars paid for this ghoul's recovery from the very virus he now dismisses.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates that from late January to early October, there were roughly 299,000 more deaths than the typical number during previous years. Two out of three of those “excess" deaths (at least) were because of COVID-19. The largest increases were among Hispanic or Latino Americans, as well as adults between the ages of 25 and 44. These are all people who didn't need to die and probably would not have died if Hillary Clinton was president instead of this Russian sock puppet.

Don't let Republicans tell you otherwise. They're going to try for the rest of our lives, but we can't let them bury the truth along with more than 220,000 Americans. Multiple 9/11s happened on Trump's watch, and America didn't give Osama bin Laden a pass on any Americans he killed who were already real sick or just had a nagging cough.

Coronavirus cases in Wisconsin have grown exponentially over the past month. It's gotten so bad that health officials had to set up a field hospital at the county fairgrounds in Milwaukee. It's not for treating people with bad tickers or chronic ingrown toenails. It's intended for any overflow of COVID-19 patients.

Trump contracted COVID-19 almost a month ago. He's learned nothing because he's incapable of personal growth or change. That's reason enough to vote this crap sack out of office.

[Up North News]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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