A South Carolina mom wasarrested and charged with disorderly conduct last Sunday after saying "fuck" -- specifically, the adjectival form, "fucking" -- in front of her children in a North Augusta grocery store. The woman was overheard destroying her children's morals by another Kroger's customer, who was Most Offended and reported the infraction to Officer Travis Smith of the North Augusta Department of Public Safety. This seems pretty reasonable, and honestly since the mother, Danielle Wolf, was white, she didn't get shot to death, so we don't see what the big deal is supposed to be.


According to Smith's criminal complaint (yes, there is one), here's how it all went down: the bystander overheard Wolf yelling at her kids, specifically reporting to Smith that Wolf had told the children to "stop squishing the fucking bread." The complainant also "stated that she heard the female use similar phrases multiple times" and that she approached Wolf and asked her to "not use that language toward her children" -- which is to say, Wolf's children; the busybody did not apparently have any children of her own to take care of, so she elected to cake care of Wolf's.

The police report also says that the public-spirited informant further advised Smith that she was willing to testify in court about the incident, which sort of undercuts her later comments to Wolf that she hadn't wanted to see Wolf arrested, but by then it was "too late." Hey, it happens. Sometimes a small incident sets in motion a chain of events that you couldn't have predicted. Like going to a cop, complaining that a lady was cussing, and telling the cop that you'd be happy to testify in court against the cussing lady. Events just overtook her. Also, hearing Wolf cuss at her after she intervened "brought her back to her abusive childhood," so you really can't blame her for going to the cops. She has pain, too, don't you understand?

Ms. Wolf further explained that she hadn't been cussing her kids; she had been cussing her husband in front of the kids, because the stupid fucker was throwing the fucking frozen pizza into the basket right on top of the fucking bread.

Wolf has a court date set for September 26; happily, the woman who went to the police to complain about another person saying "fuck" has called Wolf to apologize, so we bet both women feel one motherfucking hell of a lot better now. Except maybe the one who has to go to court to defend herself on a disorderly conduct charge. Also, a big shout-out to Officer Travis Smith for upholding the law -- a lot of law enforcement officers in this fallen age would have just rolled their eyes at the angry lady (who was an abuse victim and therefore blameless) who was demanding he Do Something about the cursing mommy, but Smith stepped up and did his duty. We salute him, and admire his restraint in not shooting either woman.

Note: This article is in no way influenced by having been written while Yr Dok Zoom was listening to Friday's coverage of the debate over how Michael Brown was a cigar thief, so maybe he deserved to be shot to death. Speaking of obscenities.

[WSAV-TV via Salon]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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