Baked Alaska Too Holy For GPS Monitor, And Other Capitol Riot Tales From The Week!

Today is Friday, which for some reason has come to mean that we are deluged with even more news about the Capitol rioters than we usually are. Hooray? Anyway, instead of trying to pick one, or eke out a whole post on yet another insurrectionist who got turned in by their relatives who hate them, it seems like a better idea to just stick all of it in one round-up. Good? Good.

Should Capitol Rioters Who Didn't Do Any Violence Be Kept In Jail? Appeals Court Says No.

In a 2-1 decision today, the US Court of Appeals for the DC Circuit ordered US District Judge Royce Lamberth to reconsider his decision to keep Eric "Zip Tie Guy" Munchel and his mother, Lisa Eisenhart, in jail until trial. The appeals court found that because Munchel and Eisenhart weren't seen committing any actual acts of violence or actually using the zip ties to kidnap anyone, they weren't actually that much of a danger, and they wouldn't necessarily be a danger in any situation outside of an insurrection.

DC Circuit Judge Robert Wilkins, in a 17-page decision, basically said that those who didn't commit acts of violence while in the Capitol should be treated differently than those who did:

If, in light of the lack of evidence that Munchel or Eisenhart committed violence on January 6, the District Court finds that they do not in fact pose a threat of committing violence in the future, the District Court should consider this finding in making its dangerousness determination. In our view, those who actually assaulted police officers and broke through windows, doors, and barricades, and those who aided, conspired with, planned, or coordinated such actions, are in a different category of dangerousness than those who cheered on the violence or entered the Capitol after others cleared the way.

This ruling will likely affect how lower courts decide which Capitol rioters should be kept in pretrial detention.


Anthime 'Baked Alaska' Gionet Is A Good Christian Who Loves Cops, So He Shouldn't Have To Wear GPS Monitor

White nationalist and far-right activist/troll Baked Alaska once wrote and sang an unbelievably cringey song titled "We Love Our Cops" — and his lawyers are using it as evidence in a motion filed Friday to modify the conditions of his release so that he doesn't have to wear a GPS ankle monitor. Also cited is the fact that he is a "good Christian" who went to a special school for Christians and loves Jesus just as much as he loves cops.

For real, that is what the motion actually says:

Aside from the Scottsdale pending charges, Mr. Gionet has led an exemplary life and avoids conflicts with the law. He was raised with a Christian upbringing and went to school in a private Christian school. Mr. Gionet's parents are well respected in their community. They own and run a medical practice. They care very much about him and his well-being as well as the outcome of this matter. Mr. Gionet does not come from a background of violence and disdain for law enforcement. On the contrary, Mr. Gionet made a music video several years back called "We Love Our Cops." The video has been viewed tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times on youtube.

Gionet, who is currently charged with violent entry and disorderly conduct, filmed himself screaming, "You're a fucking oath breaker you piece of shit" and "You broke your oath to the Constitution" and "fuck you," repeatedly, at a police officer he believed shoved him. He also broke into an office and filmed himself faking a call on the phone inside.

Notably, Gionet also participated in the Charlottesville Unite The Right rally, at which he was filmed screaming about how very proud he is to be white.

[Daily Beast]

Yet Another Capitol Rioter Is Trying the Nuremberg Defense

Jerod Hughes, of East Helena, Montana, was indicted last month along with his brother for their participation in the Capitol Riots. Notably, Hughes was seen chasing police officer Eugene Goodman throughout the Capitol building. He now says that he never would have done any of that if he had not been brainwashed by Donald Trump.

Hughes is far from the first to attempt this defense, and he most likely will not be the last. Just this week, former NYPD officer Sara Carpenter also claimed she invaded the Capitol on Trump's orders.

However, not one judge has accepted it so far.


Yet ANOTHER Capitol Rioter Turned In By Relatives

Boy, these people do not appear to be very popular among their friends and family members. I have to say, I don't think there is anything anyone I do not completely despise could do that would make me turn them in to the police, particularly if we are related, and I would have to believe that is true of most people. It's just in their case, the people they despise are their relatives who stormed the Capitol on January 6.

During the riots, James "Les" Little of Claremont, North Carolina, excitedly texted a relative, "We just took over the Capital! [sic]" and "We're stopping treason! Stealing elections is treason! We're not going to take it anymore!" and "You'll thank me for saving your freedom and [some kind of emoji I do not recognize] later!"

The relative did not thank him later. Instead, they alerted the FBI tipline.

There is a lesson here for everyone, really — don't go bragging about your crimes to people who hate your guts!


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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