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Barack Obama Finally Gets A Sex Scandal

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"Wheels up, rings off," amirite Secret Service? Maybe! Everything we know about thissexxxy new scandal we learned from Twitter! What else does Twitter have to tell us about the #SecretService getting bom dia-ed in Colombia?


* Pay your prostitute DUMBASS.

* They had a Groupon.

* 10 Recommendations For a quicker and much easier Purchase When Selling Your House

* Obama is probably using hookers too because MOOCHELLE.

* Obama's lack of leadership duh.

* The character of POTUS's staff is a direct reflection on poor character of POTUS duh.

* Also Bill Clinton's fault duh.

* Should former Obama social secretary Desiree Rogers be fired again? Yes she should be fired again.

* Coochie coochie! (Charo)

* Charo is from Spain DUMBASS.

* RON PAUL!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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