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Obama Joins America in Making Urgent St. Patrick's Day Beer Run

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Barack O'Bama snuck out of the White House to visit an "undisclosed location" today, the official presidential St. Patrick's Day euphemism for making a liquid lunch stop at an Irish bar. Here he is boozing it up with a very thrilled mob at The Dubliner during the nation's annual summit on whether it is spelled "St. Paddy's Day" or "St. Patty's Day." Is there a verdict, wasted bar patrons?

Eh, seems as good as any! More wire agency pictures of Barack Obama drinking Guinness with sloshed people dressed as leprechauns here. Happy Everyone Get Wasted Before Noon Day! [Twitter]

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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Every so often on this here internet, we get a hate read that is so perfect, that so aptly encapsulates a particular form of douchebaggery that we all must collectively gasp at it's awfulness and revel in the general repulsiveness of the arrogant human being so lacking in self-awareness that they actually thought it would be a good idea to write such a thing. Today, I bring you such a hate read -- Matthew Binder's A Glimpse Into the Ideological Monoculture of Literary New York.

And yes, it's actually worse than it sounds, if that is possible.

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