Barack Obama Will Not Be President Of Naming Things

Barack Obama is feeling a little feisty after yesterday'sbig football-spiking speech. Today, he went to Ann Arbor, where he visited Zingerman's deli with Senate candidate Gary Peters, then gave a speech at the University of Michigan calling for an increase in the minimum wage. And since he had so much fun yesterday saying "there still aren't any death panels," he decided to do a little more of that cruel partisan taunting that so vexes the tea-sipping pearl-clutchers on the right. Of Paul Ryan's budget plan, with tax cuts for the wealthy and food stamp cuts for the poors, Barry said today, they were such old ideas that

"It's like that movie 'Groundhog Day,' except it's not funny. If they tried to sell this sandwich at Zingerman's, they'd have to call it the stinkburger or the meanwich."

Oh, Barry. You know we love you. We really, really do. But your foray into "naming things" has reminded us of the happy sperm whale who loves naming the new things he meets as he falls unaccountably with a bowl of petunias to the ground. He wonders if the "ground" would be friends with him? Sadly, no. So, sir, now that you have made us all sad, could you do us a little favor and let Old Handsome Joe Biden handle the "quips"?

Feculent crudweasel Ben Shapiro was not going to let such unpleasantness go unchallenged, no sir! To the Tweetosphere went he, to bring forth great mockery and much lampooning:

Not bad, Ben! It's a bit like reading Wonkette, only if it were written by an especially petulant 9th-grader. He went on to say that "When Obama said 'meanwich,' he actually meant to say Hillary Clinton" and to ask, "Remember when we had adults in charge of our country? Actually, neither do I. I was 4 when Reagan left office."

Excellent call. Now there's a man who understood the inherent dignity of the office.

[WaPo / Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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