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Barack Obama Will Punch Graham’s and McCain’s Lights Out Probably, He Is So Mad About Them Slagging Susan Rice

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Earlier we brought you the BREAKING NEWS that Senator John McCain is a puckered old asshole, and also why he is full of poo. B. Barry Bamz responded to McCain's typical slurring of UN Ambassador Susan Rice in his press conference today by going all HULK SMASH and practically challenging McCain and his partner in E-vil, Miss Lindsey Graham, to fisticuffs! Here is a thought problem for our Internet friends: Was it SEXISMS by Barack Obama to get all het up on Rice's behalf? Like, we cannot imagine him being so ruffled and dandery and whatnot if it were, say, Simon Rice under attack? The answer, of course, is YES it is sexisms. But it is our Barry O, so it is okay?


Yes. It is okay.

Just as we still expect more politesse in a debate with a woman opponent even though "but but but they shouldn't be a little flower" -- COUGH SCOTT BROWN COUGH -- it is also okay to get more patriarchal-I'll-protect-you-Little-Lady when someone is attacking us for no good fucking reason at all.

One of the many reasons Lady Americans are still vastly underrepresented in politics is because it's shitty and mean and people attack you for no good fucking reason at all, and when we do that, we like to do it in anonymous emails. (Granted, there now seem to have been some reasons someone might want to go all Internet Stalker on someone else.)

So having some big strong men -- "white knights," even! -- come in and enforce some FUCKING CIVILITY on our behalf and redecorate the boys club and make the Senate Women's Restroom bigger while we're at it, is an unmitigated good.

Still sexist though.

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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