Barack Obama: Yup, I'm On Crack

In shocking, off-script comments, Barack Obama yesterday all but admitted that rumors of his cocaine habit are 100% true. At a White House event celebrating "gay" Pride Month Monday, the President, whose college grades we've still never seen,made a reference to the secret ingredients that he has ordered retiring White House executive pastry chef Bill Yosses (he's retiring because Michelle put him into Health Food Jail) to put into the delicacies that the First Couple feasts upon while Americans are out of work and our international reputation slides into irrelevance:

"His pies, I don't know what he does, if he puts crack in them--" the President said.

"No he doesn't," First Lady Michelle Obama laughed. "There is no crack in our pies."

No surprise that the administration's Marie Antoinette, who admitted she never took pride in America until her husband took power, would try to deny it. Shocking video follows!

The Kenyan Usurper also referred to the retiring pastry chef as "the crust master," which was almost certainly a veiled drug reference as well.


Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He wouldn't want to see what would happen if you added crack to a Pinkie Pie.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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