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Barbara Boxer Does Boxing Analogy To Carly Fiorina's 'Wall Street Values'

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  • California heavyweight Barbara Boxer pulled no punches as she savagely pounded newcomer rival Carly Fiorina in a decision knockout filled with low blows and direct hits. Before a ringside audience outside San Francisco, Boxer dominated despite a height disadvantage (she literally stood her ground atop a wooden box) and Fiorina's low blows and cheap shots. Fiorina, showing her roots as a nasty boardroom brawler better known for taking down her own entourage than for defeating opponents, was bloodied by Boxer's repeated slams. What? You mean we don't need to use all the boxing metaphors this morning? Okay, well Fiorina ... got her ass handed to her? What sport is that? "Ass handing," from the Olympic Games of Ancient Greece. Anyway, it was the first and only scheduled debate for Senator Boxer and former HP executive Fiorina -- and the first time most voters have seen Fiorina since she stupidly made stupid comments about Boxer's hairstyle on an open mic. Current polls show Boxer has a three-point lead over Fiorina, but she's also a three-term incumbent. Fiorina, as Boxer repeatedly pointed out, is a cut-throat big-business cretin who fired 30,000 HP employees and shipped jobs overseas before being fired herself. [Los Angeles Times/Mercury News/New York Times]

  • Speaking of Illegal Aliens, the Mexican Menace appears to be turning around and going home. From a peak of about 12 million before the El Recession Grande, the illegal immigrant population has dropped by about a million people. [New York Times]
  • Corporate GOP lobbyist and Mississippi slob Haley Barbour says he can be a great president by being, uh, a lobbyist. What? "I am from Mississippi, I do have a southern accent. I was a lobbyist and a pretty damned good one. And I'm very proud -- we were talking before the show came on -- I am happy about my life .... The next President of the United States on January 21, 2013 - - is going to start lobbying. He's going to be lobbying Congress, he's going to be lobbying other countries. He's going to be lobbying the business community." Sold! (Literally.) [GOP 12 via Politico Morning Score]
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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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