The president of the United States is on a Twitter bender again, because he's lonely, unloved, and his hands and brain are idle, as usual. By our latest count, he has tweeted or retweeted 37 times in the last 24 hours, which is really an unfair count, because it neglects all his Sunday morning tweeting that was technically more than 24 hours ago now.

But late last night, he started quote-tweeting one of his conspiracy-theory-mongering shitbats and took square aim at a guy we all knew he'd eventually train his sights on like a common Jeff Sessions, because this particular guy just seems a bit too sane for the Trump administration. We, of course, refer to FBI director Christopher Wray.

And then he quote-tweeted another conspiracy-theory-mongering shitbat who happened to be appearing on the TV program hosted by the first conspiracy-theory-mongering shitbat:

Wow! Bathrobe-y McRageClown was LIT last night, y'all!

"Maybe Christopher Wray is going to do WIRE TAPPS inside my bottom now!" (Slight paraphrase.)

"The FBI has no leadership. The Director is protecting the same gang that tried to overthrow the President through an illegal coup." (Not a paraphrase.)

But what, oh what, has the FBI director done to hurt the president's feelings so? Is it that thing he said in front of Congress last week, when he discreetly took a shit all over Attorney General Bill Barr's braying about how there was "spying" against the Trump campaign? Here's exactly what Wray said, so that we all may know exactly what's chapping the stable and grown-up American president's butt-ass:

"That's not the term I would use," Wray told lawmakers on the Senate Appropriations Committee when asked if FBI agents engage in "spying" when they follow FBI policies and procedures.

"Lots of people have different colloquial phrases," he continued. "I believe that the FBI is engaged in investigative activity, and part of investigative activity includes surveillance activity of different shapes and sizes, and to me the key question is making sure that it's done by the book, consistent with our lawful authorities."

LOL Chris Wray called Bill Barr's choice of words "colloquial." What he meant to say was ...

Wray wasn't done throwing shade either.

Wray said the FBI went through the proper channels in relation to the 2016 surveillance, adding that it's been "publicly disclosed there were a number of relevant warrants." He also said the FBI was working to help Barr "understand better" how the investigation was launched.

In other words, the FBI did what it was supposed to, and what you'd hope it would do if a hostile foreign power was in the process of attacking a presidential election for the purpose of helping one of the candidates, and if there were ever-increasing worries that that candidate himself, now the president, might be under the influence of that foreign power. If anything, we wish they hadn't still been addicted to Hillary's fucking emails, so they could have focused harder on the issue at hand. And yes, that includes taking into account the work of a veteran British spy who is a Russia expert, who's flailing his arms around saying AMERICA, WOULD YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME? I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU RIGHT NOW!

And now Chris Wray is over here trying to help Cover-Ups McOld "understand better" what the FBI did in 2016.

Any more shade from Wray? Oh yes, but that's only because saying in public that Russia remains undeterred and will be back in 2020 to attack our election harder is something President Foreign Agent views as a personal slight.

"We view our adversary, in particular Russia in this context, as upping its game," he said. [...]

When asked whether Russia has been sufficiently deterred, Wray responded: "I think there are still more messages to be sent."

You know, we've never quite known what to think of Wray. On the one hand, he seems to be an institutionalist who came from the ranks of the FBI brass and appears to want to do a good job and protect the rule of law from lawless presidents. There have been times during his tenure when he's seemed to be doing just that. On the other hand, they said "at least he's an institutionalist" about Bill Barr too, and we see how that's been working out.

The fact that President Mouth Yap is so mad at him should give us a little bit of hope, we guess.

But not much hope, because there is never that much hope in Donald Trump's America, because everything Trump touches turns into a river of molten shit lava and failure.


Whatever the real answer is, the next few months of Christopher Wray's life are probably going to be just great. His president will make sure of that.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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