Ben Carson Big Fan Of Guy Who Did Constitution, Old Whatshisname

You know, that guy

Brilliant neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson might not be "briefed fully" on how the rest of the world works, and his own advisers might be struggling making his brain smart on the "complex" foreign stuff, but when it comes to U.S. America, Dr. Carson knows his stuff almost as good as he knows BRAINS. Let us not forget that he rose to prominence on the Rightwing Freak Show Circuit by historysplaining how Obamacare is like slavery.

That's why he's taking a break from his "presidential campaign" to sell his latest book, A More Perfect Union -- an odd title from the man who thinks America is pretty damned perfect already, and anyone who wants to educate America's children about its less-than-perfect history is obviously trying to indoctrinate them to join ISIS.

During a recent appearance on the SPAN, Carson exhibited his profound expertise on American history and how to love the U.S. Constitution, and the founders who cribbed it from God Hisself, including his favoritest founder:

“I’m impressed by a lot of them, but particularly impressed with Thomas Jefferson, who seemed to have very deep insight into the way that people would react,” Carson said. “And he tried to craft our Constitution in a way that it would control people’s natural tendencies and control the natural growth of the government.”

Aw, that is some kind of patriotism, isn't it? It's the dumb kind conservatives love best, throwing together names and phrases they've heard like refrigerator magnet poetry and hoping it makes sense. As the whole liberal internet has rudely pointed out -- gotcha again, Dr. Carson! -- Thomas Jefferson didn't craft the Constitution. He was one of the crafters of the other document Carson loves so much he wrote a book about it: the Declaration of Independence. That would be the document authored by men just like Dr. Ben Carson, according to Dr. Ben Carson, because they, like Dr. Ben Carson, never held elected office either, except for the ones who did, obviously. Maybe he was confusing those guys with the authors of the Constitution? Man, America's system sure is complex!

Guess once his advisers finish shoving intelligence into his brain on Cuba and Israel and Syria and the rest of the un-American countries, they can get to work trying to shove some American History 101 into his big honkin' brilliant brain too.



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