Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did
Ben Carson made a Dumb again! He was trying and failing, like so many other Republican candidatesbefore him, to answer the question, "would you have invaded Iraq?" To his credit, he said it was a mistake! But he said he would have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein anyway. How? He would use WAYS:
“I’ve said definitively that I was never in favor of going into Iraq,” Carson told The Hill in a phone interview, noting that he has previously addressed the matter in some of his books. “And since we did go in, the big problem is that we didn’t secure victory there, and that’s a huge problem.”
“I would have gotten rid of the problem of Saddam Hussein some other way,” he continued. “When you go into a situation with so many factions and such a complex history, unless you know what you’re doing or have a long-term strategy, it just creates more problems.”
When pressed on how the U.S. should have toppled Hussein without sending troops into the country, Carson said that “there are a lot of ways to get rid of people.”
Ooh, maybe because he is the world's best brain surgeon, he could have gone in with his scalpel and renovated Saddam's brain, so that he wouldn't be such a baddie anymore. Or maybe Carson is talking about those "ways" we aren't supposed to know about, where the CIA goes in in the black of night and kills people and makes it look like an accident, ALLEGEDLY.
But don't think that's the only war Dr. President Ben Carson could have avoided, with "ways." He didn't even want to go into Afghanistan after 9/11, because obviously he does not love America. No More Mister Nice Blog points us to an article from Tucker Carlson's Internet Home For Transgender Bathroom Panic, detailing how Carson told George W. Bush that invading Afghanistan would be really dumb, and if only Bush would be a statesman like John F. Kennedy (and Ben Carson, obviously), we could have Jedi mind-tricked all the Ay-rabs into handing us bin Laden and stopping terrorism forever, because that is a thing that makes sense:
“I actually wrote President Bush a letter before the war started and I said, you know, what I would do is I would use the bully pulpit at this moment of great national unity and, very much in a Kennedy-esque type fashion, say within 10 years we’re going to become petroleum independent,” Carson told TheDC.
“And that would’ve been much more effective than going to war because, first of all, the moderate Arab states would’ve been terrified. And they would’ve handed over Osama Bin Laden and anybody else we wanted on a silver platter to keep us from doing that.”
"They" would have handed him over on a silver platter, because all the Ay-rab states were holding him at the time, obviously. Somewhere in a cave in Afghanistan. But Carson is right, he would have just turned on some of his Kennedy magic, which, to remind Wonkers, looks just like this:
What about Vietnam? Could Carson have saved us from Vietnam by being like Kennedy again? OF COURSE! Because yeah, we were all about fighting communism in those days, but some people LOVE communism, therefore we should just let them be. Carson said this in his book America The Beautiful, which you all read on the beach every summer:
In the case of Vietnam, we were trying to stop the spread of communism, which seems like a noble cause to those who hate communism. However, many people love communism, and certainly everyone should have the right to live under the system of their choosing.
Ben Carson: Hurray For Communism! Somehow we don't think that he is going to adopt that slogan, but it would be funny if every other Republican 2016 hopeful did.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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