When Ben Shapiro talks about something, it always sounds like he's never done it, or at the very least, does not react to it like normal humans react. Like when he asked his wife what kind of horrible disease a woman might have if she had a "wet ass pussy." And the entire internet immediately pitied Ben Shapiro's wife for marrying Ben Shapiro.

Yesterday, Shapiro tried to bad-faith explain why it's not voter suppression for Georgia to ban the practice of giving water to people standing in very long lines to vote, asking if long lines at Disneyland are also RIDE SUPPRESSION?

It is an idiot video, you shouldn't watch it:


SHAPIRO: Voter suppression doesn't involve long lines any more than long lines at Disneyland. [...] Voter suppression is where you don't get to vote.

Has Ben Shapiro ever been to Disneyland? He grew up in LA, so you'd think maybe. In fact, surely he has, but maybe he grumbled his way through the experience and complained about how he'd rather be at home becoming a bigot and poorly singing Les Miz songs, did we mention poorly?

Because even if we were to accept his parallel, which we clearly don't because we're not morons, the long lines at Disneyland are absolutely ride suppression! And that's for people who are on vacation and theoretically have time to waste! People look at the long lines and they say screw it. Maybe they try to come back later. If that's the only ride they wanted to go on that day, maybe they suffer through it. ORRRRR if they can afford it, they buy a ride pass that lets them skip to the front of the line.

Also, riding Splash Mountain is not a sacred right according to the Constitution. Voting is supposed to be.

Meanwhile, in Georgia, which is the apparent national capital of long voting lines in predominantly Black and underserved communities — because they don't put very many polling places in those areas! — those people waiting in ridiculously long lines to vote are not just fucking around on vacation. They have jobs. Or maybe two jobs. And Election Day isn't a national holiday, and many employers are fucking dicks about things like this, so they might only have a few extra minutes to go vote, lest they get fired. They often literally cannot stay in that line. And if they are determined and able to stay in the line — as very many people are, because people usually get real defiant when people are trying to make it hard for them to vote — they might have forgotten to bring a cooler and three days of food and water, because fuck you, people should not have to deal with that to go vote.

According to a study, in mostly Black neighborhoods people wait 29 percent longer on average to vote than in white neighborhoods. It also found they're 74 percent more likely to have to wait more than 30 minutes. Speaking from personal experience of growing up in mostly white, upper-middle-class neighborhoods, let us tell you voting has always been easy as shit. We are sure it's always been the same way for Ben Shapiro. Maybe he should go visit a polling place in a Black neighborhood sometime, ha ha just kidding, Ben Shapiro doesn't want to learn things, and he doesn't seem to be very worried about Black people being able to exercise the right to vote.

"Fox & Friends" made an equally goddamned stupid analogy this morning. Ainsley Earhardt said you don't need them to bring you water in the voting line, because they don't bring you water if you're standing in line to get into the Yankees game! Even if the line is long! (You know, because you have made the choice to spend hours at a baseball game that day, which presumably means you have time to do that.)

Then Steve Doocy said, "I have been voting for over 40 years, and I have never thought to myself, OK I'm going to go vote today, WILL THEY HAVE SNACKS?"

Ha ha, Steve Doocy! Of course not! Because you have been voting in rich white neighborhoods where you can vote in about five minutes, and by "five minutes," we mean the time from when you get out of your car to go inside and vote, to the time you get back in your car. Why do you think it's such common political knowledge that Democrats early vote, while Republicans vote on voting day? Because for so many white Republicans, voting on voting day has never ever fucking been hard!

Ugh these people are garbage.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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