Benghazi GOP Congresslady Doesn't Think You're Very Funny, Hillary

Hillz all like "YOU HEAR THIS CHICK? LOL!"

Somewhere around the 178th hour of the Republican Benghazi committee's hearing, tentatively titled, "OOPS WE JUST MADE AN ELEVEN HOUR HILLARY CLINTON CAMPAIGN AD, WE ARE FIRED," there was a moment of funsies! Remember the idiot Alabama Rep. Martha Roby, the one who seemed to be there representing her sorority? Because she was just pretty sure? That Hillary? Did stuff bad, like, such as? Yeah, HER.


ROBY: Secretary Clinton, I wanna follow up, um, on questions about the night of the attack and decisions made then. Um, you, um, wrote in your book Hard Choices? That um, you were directing the State Department response the night of September 11, 2012, but you also stated that you left your office on the night of the attacks, and went to your home in northwest Washington, because you said you knew the next few days were going to be taxing, and the department was going to be looking to you. Um, I wanna talk about a few things.

Do you have a SCIF in your home?

HILLZ: Yes, I did.

ROBY: Okay and who else was at your home? Were you alone?

HILLZ: I was alone, yes.

ROBY: The whole night?

HILLZ: Well yes, the whole night. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ROBY: I don't know why that's funny ...

ROBY: Did you have any in-person briefings? I don't find it funny. At all.

HILLZ: I'm sorry, a little note of levity at 7:15.

ROBY: Well, I mean, the reason I say it's not funny is because it went well into the night, uh, when our folks on the ground were still in danger, so I don't think it's funny ...

HILLZ: Congresswoman, you asked if I had a SCIF. I had secure phones. I had other equipment that kept me in touch with the State Department at all times. I did not sleep all night. I was very much focused on what we were doing.

For thems what do not know, a SCIF is a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, set up in a building or home, for the protected transmission of classified info. And Hillz had one, at her house, because she was a Big Important Lady.

So like, look, Rep. Roby, we know life is confusing, and it's tough to imagine how Hillary might have been able to direct work at the State Department in the dead of night during a crisis, but she had the whole home office thing set up, and facsimile machines and cellular phone iDevices, and she did not actually have to go into the office -- or hop the first cargo flight to Benghazi -- to follow what was happening in Libya.

Second and last point: Part of why everybody was laughing is that WE ALL KNOW there are rumors on the internets about Hillary making sex scissors with Huma Abedin all the time. (Thanks, New York Times, you piece of shit!) So next time, if you want a REAL BIG laugh, may we suggest the Wonkette headline we came up with in the Seekrit Chatcave when this all went down: Was Huma Fingering Hillary When Ambassador Stevens Died In Benghazi?

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See? That's funny. And so was the thing that happened when the congresschick from Kappa Kappa Gamma asked Hillary if she was ALL ALONE FOR REAL THAT NIGHT?

You bone-crushingly stupid dick.



Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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