Actual Paul Rubens, not a cosplay

Well this has to be disappointing for Mad President Dogbane: He's been disinvited from using the Harley-Davidson motorcycle factory in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, as a backdrop for yet another executive order signing. Trump had been planning to sign some executive orders "related to American manufacturing" there Thursday, but the company cancelled the visit because it wasn't too crazy about being beset by thousands of hippie protesters yammering about immigration, according to an unnamed "administration official" who spoke to CNN. It's really rather a pity, since Trump would surely appreciate the great machines made by Harley-Davidson, which are famous for making up in the production of noise what they lack in actual performance. Here, let's have Wolf Blitzer 'splainer it to you:

As Donna Rose's favorite babbysitter Charles Pierce, esq. points out,

A company that annually hosts a convention of huge people who look like they could eat entire motorcycles and come back later for the sidecars does not dare host the President of the United States for fear of protest. Jesus, it took Nixon almost five years to get this bunkered unto himself, and he was fighting an unpopular war while subverting the Constitution. So far, President* Trump is only doing one of those and he's already getting his bookings canceled as though he were the Doors two weeks after Jim Morrison whipped it out in Miami. This is not a tenable situation for anyone.

We hear that Trump was initially very upset that he wouldn't get the chance to ride a hog, at least until he was informed that a "hog" was a motorcycle and he lost interest. We can only imagine what he'll be tweeting about the company in an attempt to hurt their stock price.

Harley-Davidson, for its part, is going full Alternative Facts on the matter. Us? Scared of some wimpy protesters in pussy hats? Never!

Harley-Davidson issued a statement Tuesday night saying they "don't have, nor did we have, a scheduled visit from the President this week at any of our facilities."

"We are proud to have hosted Presidential visits at our facilities. Three of the last five presidents -- Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton -- have visited us at our facilities. These visits are a testament to the pride and passion of our employees and their great work building Harley-Davidson motorcycles," said Maripat Blankenheim, director of Harley-Davidson's corporate communication. "We look forward to hosting the president in the future."

Uh-huh. First off, there is no way that "Maripat Blankenheim" is not a name from Lemony Snicket. And as for that "no, there never was a photo op" stuff, that's not what the anonymous Trump administration official said (this administration is leakier than a badly rebuilt 1977 Shovelhead).

We're sure the president will find someplace to host his signing of the Buy American Stuff (unless you're building a Trump hotel) executive order, someplace that isn't afraid of protesters, a manufacturing floor where they're still proud of what they produce. And that doesn't have stairs. Maybe the Oval Office, which is currently busy manufacturing bad government in record quantities.

Liz Warren looks great on a big old motorcycle, we should add. And she isn't afraid of ANYTHING.

[CNN / Esquire]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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